Thinking back to my own years in grade school I attempt to recall how I felt.  I know I was painfully shy and attempted to just “blend” in and not be noticed.  Though I don’t recall it at this time, I’m sure there were incidences of “mean girls” even in my day, but fortunately for me, I don’t remember it so much.  Unfortunately, for most girls today “mean girls” and their viciousness is quite rampant in today’s society.

How do you teach your daughter to deal with the “mean girls” no matter what her age?  They seem to be starting this syndrome earlier and earlier.  So, we must equip our daughter(s) to deal with it.  How, you ask? I believe many of the principles that we should teach our daughter(s), no matter if they are dealing with mean girls or not are the same principles that will equip her to deal with them.

The Golden Rule. Matthew 7:12 says, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (NIV)  So many times girls are hurt, and rightly so but they begin to focus inward, on their own thoughts and feelings and they never give a thought to the other person.  Many times girls are “mean” and vicious because of a lack of something, whether it be love, attention, or something else.  Encourage your daughter to treat the “mean girl” as she wants to be treated, not how they treat her.

Empower her. Help your daughter to focus on her own positive traits and abilities.  So many times “mean girls” target those girls who seem to have no self-esteem or a low self-esteem.  In many ways they are making it easier on themselves.  It is easier to put down a person who is already low to begin with, but if your daughter is thinking “positively” and using her own good qualities to bring up her self-esteem and empower herself she is less likely to be a victim of the “mean girls”.

Build her relationships. Again, many times girls are picked on by the “mean girls” because they are easily centered out from the others.  Have your daughter to focus on building relationships so that she is never caught alone and so she isn’t easily pegged.  A lack of good, healthy relationships in a girl’s life is one of the reasons that “mean girls’ exist in the first place.  Finding like-minded individuals in which she has things in common can help her to build good, positive relationships, which she will carry throughout life and which will be an encouragement to her.

Unfortunately, the mean girls likely won’t go away, however your daughter’s tendency to be picked on by them can change with the right focus in your daughter’s life.  Be an agent of positive change in your daughter’s life to help her to deal with and combat the role of the “mean girls” in her life.

How do you spell love? Well, you might say L-O-V-E of course, but I would beg to differ. That is because I believe that love can better be spelled for many of us, T-I-M-E. After all for love to be shown, maintained, developed, and given, it takes just that, time. No matter who the love is being shown to it will take you sacrificing your time to spend it showing that person that you love them. It will take you doing this over a period of time, before that person will believe that your love is true. Then it will take you spending time, continually, to ensure that the love relationship is maintained. It takes time to give love to someone else, which is why I spell love, T-I-M-E, instead of L-O-V-E.

So many people today, in many of their relationships believe that the other person knows that they love them, and that the other person has felt that love enough to where they no longer have to show them that love. This is a major mis-judgment, because in fact in order for most of us to feel loved that love must keep being shown, And in order to feel that love we must have the person who is to show their love for us in our presence, which is why love takes time, specifically spending time together.

This is easy for most of us when first meeting someone when a relationship is first established and when we first begin to love them, especially in romantic relationships. Think about it, when you first fall in love with someone you cannot think about anything else but that person. You eat, sleep, and breath their every good quality and seem to never be able to get enough of their presence. However, as time goes on that changes, but your love for them does not, so why do we think that we can somehow spend less time together or should spend less time together?

When it comes to love and showing our love to each other it is important that we do indeed spend time together in order to nurture, grow and maintain the relationship. The time spent on that relationship helps to build a sense of and a true feeling of commitment and trust, which is important to any relationship.

So, if you want a relationship to be well-maintained and to grow as it should be willing to commit the time that it takes to truly show them your love, and if you’re not willing to put in the time, do not expect to receive the commitment and for it to equal the love you are looking for in return.