When I decided back in February or March to take some time away from this ministry, I really didn’t realize the void I would feel in my life. Now, almost 6 months later I am well aware and ready to return from my sabbatical. After beginning this ministry in January 2005, I have never looked back. 6 months ago however I had to look around and take some time for my family.

I am glad I did, it allowed me to cultivate some of my friendships, as well as enjoy some new experiences. This summer I taught a summer school class to teenagers for four weeks in the public school that I graduated from in 1999.

When God gives you a calling, you know it and as I stood before those students on the last day of class to give them a presentation on internet safety, I couldn’t help but weave in a few “morsels” of wise Godly words of wisdom about those topics that are so important to me.

I knew standing there that I am called to speak to teenagers. Then, over the past few weeks I’ve been dealing with some things head on in my own life and with my own peers. Realizing more and more that though it isn’t my comfort zone, God wants me to speak to them as well. No, I’m wrong, he wants to speak to them and even though I like Moses feel “ill prepared” and “lacking”, God is prepared and he can and will equip me for the task.

He has quite boldly made me aware of those things, which He wants me to talk about, some of which are subjects that though I know all too well I find difficult to talk about, my own life-long dealings with anxiety and overwhelm. Even about God’s calling on my life and how I knew that is indeed what it was.

I am going to be taking it one step at a time as He reveals these new pieces of the puzzle to me. But, be on the look out for new topics here and new materials as well. I am thrilled to be back and I pray that you are glad to have me back in your midst.

Blessings,

PS.  Beauty by Design Weekly Ezine is back you will likely be receiving a request to “confirm” your subscription again if you were a previous subscriber so watch out for that!  Thanks so much!

“Good night, sweet dreams, I love you!”

These have been our closing words at tuck-in time for a while now. I remember them from my own childhood and never meant to carry on that tradition, but somehow, after being said a few times, the mantra stuck. This comforting night-time phrase is just one of the many thoughts and gestures of love that were shown to me by my parents and that I strive to pass on to my children. However, my parents also passed along to me many things that are distinctly unloving: criticism, anger, selfishness—you name it! All of these are things that Jesus Christ has been able to change in me, and I now want to pass along to my children a legacy of faith that includes the value of love—the true love which is only found through our Lord and Savior.

It has occurred to me, though, that no matter how important it is to say the words, “I love you,” it’s even more important to live them. We’d all agree that that’s true—but when it comes down to it, how well do we live out the love of God? Not our understanding of love, but the unconditional and selfless love that Jesus modeled for us.

In Jesus’ own words, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). I don’t think He was just referring to His own physical death, but also to the way He “lay down his life” on a daily basis—giving up what He wanted and, instead, doing what was needed for those He loved. He gave up sleep, food, career, family relationships, and more, all to show us the way to eternal life and abundant life.

When I compare that standard to what I evidence to my children on a consistent basis, it’s easy to see how often I fall short of God’s ideal in living out a life of love. As I recall one mother writing (and unfortunately, I don’t remember the source), “Being a mother showed me how selfish I truly was.” How true! So often, we’d rather do what’s convenient for us, instead of what’s best for our children and family. We pursue our own agendas and schedules instead of prayerfully following along with God’s plans. We talk of love, but in the next breath we’re responding harshly to a child’s repeated questions.

If we want to raise spiritually fit children who love the Lord as we do, we’ve got to know the love of God and share it with our children. We do this best by showing them physical affection, sharing words of affirmation, performing acts of service, sometimes giving them small gifts or treats, and spending quality time with them. (Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell do a fine job of describing all of these facets of love in The Five Love Languages of Children.) Aside from modeling this value as the best method of teaching it to our children, there are some other practical things we should address in order to provide them with a solid foundation in Christlike character.

Though children may receive our love and be able to express love to others, they may have difficulty grasping the concept of “loving God,” since they cannot see or touch him. It is important, then, that in addition to all the other aspects of “love,” we help our children understand how we love God.

Ultimately, our love for God is expressed by our obedience to his Word. Jesus told his disciples, “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me” (John 14:21; see also John 14:15). Therefore, it’s important for us to spend time in the Word so that we know what it is God wants us to do. This may include personal reading, listening to Bible teachings, participating in a Bible study, or reading Bible-based books. However, there is no substitute for simply reading the Bible.

It is important, also, that we pray. We can both speak to God and hear from Him in the quietness of prayer. We are admonished to “pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). A constant thought-life of prayer keeps us focused on the Lord, makes us more aware of his presence, and draws us closer to him. Isn’t that what a love relationship is all about?

By encouraging the habits of Bible-reading and prayer (and obedience to the Word) in our children and guiding them in an understanding of how these actions express their love for God, we are laying the foundation for their lifetime love relationship with the Lord.

Love is just one of the many values that God values—one of the many character traits that He wants to grow in us as we follow Christ. As parents, it’s our job to show this love and encourage our children to express it as well. Though that may seem obvious, it’s important to remember that love isn’t just something that we “do”—it’s a fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22). While we do need to do our part in expressing love, we can’t live the love of God without allowing Him to work in and through us by the power of the Holy Spirit. So, as you teach your children to read and obey the Word and pray, make sure you’re praying—it’s one of the most powerful tools in your parenting toolbox: “be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God… And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests” (Ephesians 6:10-11a and 18).

Cynthia Carrier is the homeschooling mom of seven children and author of The Growing Homeschool: Integrating Babies and Toddlers into Your Already Busy Schedule and the children’s character training coloring book, Growing to be Like Jesus. She has been a popular speaker at homeschool conventions and events. The focus of Marc and Cindy’s “Values-Driven” ministry is to encourage and equip Christian families to make the most of every opportunity; that is, to serve God, participate in fulfilling the Great Commission, and raise children who love and serve the Lord. For more information about their resources, for fresh inspiration on your family journey, or to find practical helps-including dozens of FREE DOWNLOADS, visit http://www.ValuesDrivenFamily.com.

Photo credit: SXC

Saying “I love you”, it is something we can not do too often. Even when your children grow to become teenagers and may not seem to care whether you say “hello” or not, much less “I love you” it is still of utmost importance that you show your love to them and for them.

You may have heard of the book, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. This book lays out for you that there are five different ways in which people want to be shown love. It is assumed that every person holds one of these love languages as “preferred”, however, why not use these “love languages” as different ways to show your love for them, or if you know your child’s love language you could certainly show them your love through acts that are significant to that language.

The five love languages include:

• words of affirmation
• quality time
• receiving gifts
• acts of service
• and physical touch.

Everyone wants to feel loved. Showing our love for others doesn’t have to be extravagant. A simple, “I am proud of you” goes a long way for someone whose love language is “words of affirmation”. An afternoon spent chatting over ice cream is huge for someone whose love language is “quality time”. A small trinket is a “big deal” for someone whose love language is “receiving gifts”. Cleaning ones room is a wonderful way to show someone whose love language is “acts of service” that you care. While a big hug after a long day at school makes someone whose love language is “physical touch” feel super special.

Photo credit: gonhara

How do you spell love? Well, you might say L-O-V-E of course, but I would beg to differ. That is because I believe that love can better be spelled for many of us, T-I-M-E. After all for love to be shown, maintained, developed, and given, it takes just that, time. No matter who the love is being shown to it will take you sacrificing your time to spend it showing that person that you love them. It will take you doing this over a period of time, before that person will believe that your love is true. Then it will take you spending time, continually, to ensure that the love relationship is maintained. It takes time to give love to someone else, which is why I spell love, T-I-M-E, instead of L-O-V-E.

So many people today, in many of their relationships believe that the other person knows that they love them, and that the other person has felt that love enough to where they no longer have to show them that love. This is a major mis-judgment, because in fact in order for most of us to feel loved that love must keep being shown, And in order to feel that love we must have the person who is to show their love for us in our presence, which is why love takes time, specifically spending time together.

This is easy for most of us when first meeting someone when a relationship is first established and when we first begin to love them, especially in romantic relationships. Think about it, when you first fall in love with someone you cannot think about anything else but that person. You eat, sleep, and breath their every good quality and seem to never be able to get enough of their presence. However, as time goes on that changes, but your love for them does not, so why do we think that we can somehow spend less time together or should spend less time together?

When it comes to love and showing our love to each other it is important that we do indeed spend time together in order to nurture, grow and maintain the relationship. The time spent on that relationship helps to build a sense of and a true feeling of commitment and trust, which is important to any relationship.

So, if you want a relationship to be well-maintained and to grow as it should be willing to commit the time that it takes to truly show them your love, and if you’re not willing to put in the time, do not expect to receive the commitment and for it to equal the love you are looking for in return.