“Good night, sweet dreams, I love you!”

These have been our closing words at tuck-in time for a while now. I remember them from my own childhood and never meant to carry on that tradition, but somehow, after being said a few times, the mantra stuck. This comforting night-time phrase is just one of the many thoughts and gestures of love that were shown to me by my parents and that I strive to pass on to my children. However, my parents also passed along to me many things that are distinctly unloving: criticism, anger, selfishness—you name it! All of these are things that Jesus Christ has been able to change in me, and I now want to pass along to my children a legacy of faith that includes the value of love—the true love which is only found through our Lord and Savior.

It has occurred to me, though, that no matter how important it is to say the words, “I love you,” it’s even more important to live them. We’d all agree that that’s true—but when it comes down to it, how well do we live out the love of God? Not our understanding of love, but the unconditional and selfless love that Jesus modeled for us.

In Jesus’ own words, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). I don’t think He was just referring to His own physical death, but also to the way He “lay down his life” on a daily basis—giving up what He wanted and, instead, doing what was needed for those He loved. He gave up sleep, food, career, family relationships, and more, all to show us the way to eternal life and abundant life.

When I compare that standard to what I evidence to my children on a consistent basis, it’s easy to see how often I fall short of God’s ideal in living out a life of love. As I recall one mother writing (and unfortunately, I don’t remember the source), “Being a mother showed me how selfish I truly was.” How true! So often, we’d rather do what’s convenient for us, instead of what’s best for our children and family. We pursue our own agendas and schedules instead of prayerfully following along with God’s plans. We talk of love, but in the next breath we’re responding harshly to a child’s repeated questions.

If we want to raise spiritually fit children who love the Lord as we do, we’ve got to know the love of God and share it with our children. We do this best by showing them physical affection, sharing words of affirmation, performing acts of service, sometimes giving them small gifts or treats, and spending quality time with them. (Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell do a fine job of describing all of these facets of love in The Five Love Languages of Children.) Aside from modeling this value as the best method of teaching it to our children, there are some other practical things we should address in order to provide them with a solid foundation in Christlike character.

Though children may receive our love and be able to express love to others, they may have difficulty grasping the concept of “loving God,” since they cannot see or touch him. It is important, then, that in addition to all the other aspects of “love,” we help our children understand how we love God.

Ultimately, our love for God is expressed by our obedience to his Word. Jesus told his disciples, “Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me” (John 14:21; see also John 14:15). Therefore, it’s important for us to spend time in the Word so that we know what it is God wants us to do. This may include personal reading, listening to Bible teachings, participating in a Bible study, or reading Bible-based books. However, there is no substitute for simply reading the Bible.

It is important, also, that we pray. We can both speak to God and hear from Him in the quietness of prayer. We are admonished to “pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). A constant thought-life of prayer keeps us focused on the Lord, makes us more aware of his presence, and draws us closer to him. Isn’t that what a love relationship is all about?

By encouraging the habits of Bible-reading and prayer (and obedience to the Word) in our children and guiding them in an understanding of how these actions express their love for God, we are laying the foundation for their lifetime love relationship with the Lord.

Love is just one of the many values that God values—one of the many character traits that He wants to grow in us as we follow Christ. As parents, it’s our job to show this love and encourage our children to express it as well. Though that may seem obvious, it’s important to remember that love isn’t just something that we “do”—it’s a fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22). While we do need to do our part in expressing love, we can’t live the love of God without allowing Him to work in and through us by the power of the Holy Spirit. So, as you teach your children to read and obey the Word and pray, make sure you’re praying—it’s one of the most powerful tools in your parenting toolbox: “be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God… And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests” (Ephesians 6:10-11a and 18).

Cynthia Carrier is the homeschooling mom of seven children and author of The Growing Homeschool: Integrating Babies and Toddlers into Your Already Busy Schedule and the children’s character training coloring book, Growing to be Like Jesus. She has been a popular speaker at homeschool conventions and events. The focus of Marc and Cindy’s “Values-Driven” ministry is to encourage and equip Christian families to make the most of every opportunity; that is, to serve God, participate in fulfilling the Great Commission, and raise children who love and serve the Lord. For more information about their resources, for fresh inspiration on your family journey, or to find practical helps-including dozens of FREE DOWNLOADS, visit http://www.ValuesDrivenFamily.com.

Photo credit: SXC

I’m not sure where I learned it, or even if I did, but somewhere along the way over my lifetime I have developed a servant’s heart. It is one characteristic that I am blessed to be developing, and one that I admire in others.  Being a servant is one of the key traits of Jesus Christ, and as a Christian I have been in the process of becoming more like Jesus daily.

If this concept can be taught, then it is one I believe that we should definitely pass on to our daughters. Maybe it’s one that can only be “caught” as I spoke of recently, but either way it is worth attempting to teach, in one way or another.

The Bible likens servant hood with greatness. It says in Matthew 20: 25-28,

“Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave- just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

In my eyes, having a servant’s heart means several things, these things include:

Seeing others through the eyes of Jesus. As a result you don’t see others the way that they truly are, but rather how they could be. So many times we see other’s sin and we begin to hold it against them, we hate the sinner rather than the sin, when God hates the sin, not the sinner. We must see other’s through the eyes of Jesus to truly be humble enough to serve. After all, Christianity is not only about serving God, but also serving others.

Seeing needs and meeting them. There are needs all around us, needs that need to be met, but so often times are ignored.  As one with a servant heart you will see those needs and be willing to meet them.  A true servant heart will also do so without being asked.

Doing what you can, when you can, because you can. A person with a servant’s heart will not only see the need and meet it but will do so often, and will make it their mission to serve.  They will consistently and frequently look for ways that they can serve.  They understand the heart of ministry and go out of their way to be a part of it, where ever they are, whenever they can.  They don’t wait around for opportunities to serve, they create them.

Teach your daughter to have a servant’s heart.  Teach her what it means to serve.  You can help to encourage them to serve by discussing with them what it means, pointing out to them those who serve in  your church and what they do to serve, help them to realize that everyone can serve, but not everyone serves alike.  Help them to realize we are all gifted in certain areas, but that sometimes we just need to do what needs to be done, no matter what our gifts.

School is starting or maybe it’s already begun where you are.  Either way, there is much to do to prepare for school beginning, whether you homeschool, attend public or private schools, there are supplies to buy, clothes shopping to be done and new routines to get into.  It can be a trying time of year for families.  The hustle and bustle ensues and let’s face it we can all get a little “fussy” to say the least.

However, as Christians it is important that our busyness does not alter our attitudes so much that those around us do not even know that we are Christians.  We are called to be “set apart” from the world.  This should include our attitudes with not only our families, but with others.  Sure this is a crazy busy time of year for everyone, but if you face each busy day with a positive, Christ-like attitude others will take note and wonder what is different about you, and what makes your outlook on life so much different from others, or maybe even their own.

As 1 Peter 3:15-16 says, “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.”

Others will be recognizing this set-apartness that you have, however they may not know what it is that makes you different, that is where you are responsible as a Christian to be prepared to explain to them or to “give an account” to them for that hope that you have that is being shown in your attitude and hopefully in your actions as well.  So, just like you are preparing for the new school year by buying supplies, getting new clothes and incorporating new routines into you life, you should also be prepared with a testimony or account of why you have the hope that you have through Jesus Christ.

It is not always easy to open your mouth and tell others about your relationship with Christ, but the more you do so the easier it will become, so get prepared!