This will be a new series of blog posts on Spiritual Disciplines. These are habits and / or activities that we can incorporate into our lives and encourage our daughters to embrace and incorporate into their lives to grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ.

This series will cover the following:

Spiritual Growth

Mentoring

Prayer & Prayer Journaling

Reading God’s Word

There will be some giveaways associated with this series as well.  I’m looking forward to it and I hope you will as well.

Perfect Time Number 5 is Girls Nights

Every now and again it is fun to purposely spend time together. These other times mentioned may just happen accidentally, but a purposed planned event such as a girl’s night out or a girl’s night in with your daughter(s) can be a great way to connect. Do something fun that you both enjoy and allow the quality time you are spending together to affect your relationship for the better.

You might even want to invite a girlfriend along, one of your daughter’s that is. My mom often allowed me to have friends sleep over. Spending time with my friends helped my mom to get to know them and to discover whether or not they were someone she really wanted me hanging out with. She was able to judge and then from there give me advice on how to handle that particular friend. She was also able to positively influence some of my friends who may have not had a strong connection with their own mothers or even with Jesus Christ.

Perfect Time Number 4 is Godly Gossip

Did you know there is a type of gossip that can actually be good? Well, there is, Godly gossip. This is when you share with your daughter what God is doing in your life and you have her do the same. At this time it is ok to admit your weaknesses. My momma often admitted to me that she did not know what else to do as a parent in a particular situation, but she would always tell me that she had prayed or was praying about that situation and that she was giving it to God. I learned how this worked from my mom.

Over the years, she and my daddy encouraged me to go to God for every decision, from boyfriends to temptation, to choosing where to go to college and what to do with the rest of my life. “Pray about it” was a noted phrase in our house and a good answer to almost everything.

For a long time I have said that the mission of Beauty by Design Ministries has been “turning the hearts of girls towards God”, while this is still true, I mostly do this through my offline live events, when I do interactive girls or mother daughter events and my keynote speaking.  However, I do much more online, and my mission online is a bit different.  I wanted to make my mission clear.  I’m not “changing” it but I am embracing a new mission for my online community here at Beauty by Design.  That mission is:

“Helping moms to connect and communicate with their teen and tween girls.”

This will continue to be done in a variety of ways:

• This blog.
• The Mom-Daughter Connection Radio Show & Podcast. A new podcast is available now here on accountability.
• Our Ezine.
• Our Information Products.
• Our Seminar Series.

I am excited about this and hope that you will gain some valuable information to help you in your relationship with your daughter.  This mission comes from my heart.  I believe it is because I had and still have a strong relationship with my mom that my relationship with Christ is where it is today, and that my life is where it is today.  I want the same for my relationship with my own daughter and I want the same for all of you!

The power of the Internet allows us to do amazing things these days. More and more I am getting excited about the ways that it allows me to be involved in ministry that I would never have been able to do without it. This includes the ability to speak to women and girls all over the country from the comfort of my living room using my computer.

I have recently spoken at two online conferences, A Woman Inspired and The Ultimate Homeschool Expo. The creators of A Woman Inspired have now created a teen version for girls called God’s Girls Online Conference which is absolutely FREE for the girls to attend. All they need is their computer and some speakers to listen in.

I’ll be speaking on the topic of prayer journaling. The conference will be Friday, August 21st in the evening and Saturday, August 22nd. I don’t know my exact speaking time yet, will let you know as soon as I hear! I hope you will share this with the teen girls in your life and encourage them to attend.

Thinking back to my own years in grade school I attempt to recall how I felt.  I know I was painfully shy and attempted to just “blend” in and not be noticed.  Though I don’t recall it at this time, I’m sure there were incidences of “mean girls” even in my day, but fortunately for me, I don’t remember it so much.  Unfortunately, for most girls today “mean girls” and their viciousness is quite rampant in today’s society.

How do you teach your daughter to deal with the “mean girls” no matter what her age?  They seem to be starting this syndrome earlier and earlier.  So, we must equip our daughter(s) to deal with it.  How, you ask? I believe many of the principles that we should teach our daughter(s), no matter if they are dealing with mean girls or not are the same principles that will equip her to deal with them.

The Golden Rule. Matthew 7:12 says, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (NIV)  So many times girls are hurt, and rightly so but they begin to focus inward, on their own thoughts and feelings and they never give a thought to the other person.  Many times girls are “mean” and vicious because of a lack of something, whether it be love, attention, or something else.  Encourage your daughter to treat the “mean girl” as she wants to be treated, not how they treat her.

Empower her. Help your daughter to focus on her own positive traits and abilities.  So many times “mean girls” target those girls who seem to have no self-esteem or a low self-esteem.  In many ways they are making it easier on themselves.  It is easier to put down a person who is already low to begin with, but if your daughter is thinking “positively” and using her own good qualities to bring up her self-esteem and empower herself she is less likely to be a victim of the “mean girls”.

Build her relationships. Again, many times girls are picked on by the “mean girls” because they are easily centered out from the others.  Have your daughter to focus on building relationships so that she is never caught alone and so she isn’t easily pegged.  A lack of good, healthy relationships in a girl’s life is one of the reasons that “mean girls’ exist in the first place.  Finding like-minded individuals in which she has things in common can help her to build good, positive relationships, which she will carry throughout life and which will be an encouragement to her.

Unfortunately, the mean girls likely won’t go away, however your daughter’s tendency to be picked on by them can change with the right focus in your daughter’s life.  Be an agent of positive change in your daughter’s life to help her to deal with and combat the role of the “mean girls” in her life.

Every once in a while I forget to update my readers about news and happenings going on in the ministry. This is the case at the moment so I decided to do an “update” post. Here are a few of the things going on with us at Beauty by Design Ministries.

I will be traveling to Hartselle, Alabama next weekend, March 6-7 to do a girl’s retreat for the girls of West Hartselle Baptist Church. I am looking forward to it.

I am also actively working on a new training program “Faith Leaps: Training for Taking the Leap of Faith into Speaking, Writing or Ministry”. If you think this might interest you go to FaithLeaps.com and read more about the program.

I also have plans to release in the VERY near future, (by April 1st) a complete package for the Christian Charm School Workshop. Currently the workshop only includes a workbook itself, I have had many requests for a separate Leader Guide, which I plan to release as well as the workbook and leader guide in hard copy. You will actually be able to purchase a “hard copy” book form of these to be mailed to you, rather than just the ebook form.

There will be package deals available so that you are able to purchase enough for your whole group to have their own workbook. I’m looking forward to its release. Want to be put on the waiting list for this great Christian Charm School Workshop Pack to be the first to receive info when the product is released? Sign up here.

To purchase the Christian Charm School Ebook go here.

I often enjoy the opportunity to blog about the “overwhelm” I am feeling, that’s because that overwhelming feeling is usually due to God’s love and blessings in my life.  Today, the sense of overwhelm is quite different.  This weekend, I spent some time with a group of 7th – 9th grade girls as I helped out at a Disciple Now Weekend in a local church association which involved several churches.

It was a last minute thing.  I received a call on late Thursday afternoon and ended up volunteering for the weekend.  It was a divine appointment as some might say.  God said, “you need to go minister to these girls.”  I really didn’t know what He was up to, but I knew it was a “God” thing.  And even though the weekend is over, I feel like I ministered to the girls, but I still don’t exactly know what “God was up to.”  There is one thing I do know however, I came away a different person.  I am burdened, my heart is  heavy and I feel a “need” a “need to do something“.

I have been in ministry for years now. I have felt burdened for teens before, but nothing like this.  I cried tears, tears of overwhelm as I said my closing prayer with them during the last Bible study session.  I know that God is much bigger than their problems, but at that moment I felt so small.  I know that I am weak and HE is strong.  And as the sense of overwhelm still hangs over me a few days later, I have to say once again to myself “Jesus loves them this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little Ones to Him belong. They are weak but He is strong.“ 

Dear Jesus,

I know that you love me and that you love those girls I had the opportunity to share with this weekend.  I know that those 7 girls represent just a small part of your children.  And I know that you love each and every one of your children.  Your children, especially teenagers today are weak Lord and they are hurting.  I am so glad that they belong to you and that you are strong enough to carry their burdens like I wish that I could, but I know that I can’t.  I lift them up to you right now Lord.  You know WHO they are.  Carry them Lord.  Protect them.  Reveal yourself to them.

In Jesus Name

AMEN

Photo Credit: Bracelets by Linda

It isn’t often that I make a recommendation here.  But this one just HAD to be made.  Journal Buddies, A Girl’s Journal for Sharing and Celebrating Magnificence is a must have for your girls.  It is perfect for the tween girl (age 8-12).  It was a finalist in the Mom’s Choice Awards and for good reason.  This journal allows a girl to explore and share her feelings on paper, helping to create a power, positive and lasting self-esteem experience for her.

As you all know, I am a journaling enthusiast, however often times it is difficult to get a girl this age to share her feelings on paper.  But this journal brings out her creativity and allows her to open up and share easily.  It involves fun activities that will help them to draw out their feelings and emotions and record them all in a very special place.

One of the great things about this journal is that it allows the girls to share either through words or pictures.  This gives them yet another way to record their thoughts without feeling that they are “writing the right thing”.  They can just be themselves!

As someone who has journaled for years and who advocates it as an activity that all girls should do I highly recommend this journal for all tween girls.

Pick up a Journal Buddies for your tween girl today.