This is the third in a series of posts on “Spiritual Spots” the series starts here.  The last post was on Reading God’s Word.  Today’s post will cover prayer and prayer journaling.

Prayer is our way of communicating with God.  If you’re a Christian and have a “relationship” with God it is essential in order to grow that relationship to pray.  Prayer is our life line to God.  As my children learned in Vacation Bible School this summer you can pray anytime, anywhere and about anything.  Prayer is a privilege and something that we should WANT to do.

In our busy lives it is important that we set aside time daily to pray or talk to God.  Prayer doesn’t have to be complicated.  I know as a teenager that I spent the first few moments before school while still sitting in my vehicle to pray.  Usually, I would turn up my favorite praise and worship CD and spend that time in prayer and praise to God.  Prayer after all should involve not just listing our requests to God but also spending time praising him.

Using a prayer journal can also be a great way to spend time in prayer and will help you to “focus” that time that you have no matter how small.  You can list your prayer concerns, the ways that you can praise God and even intercede for others.  Writing in a prayer journal can help you to also look back in the future and see how God has answered your prayers.

If you need more help with prayer and prayer journaling why not download our guide My Heart to His. It is F. REE.

If you are the mother of little girls and boys like I am instead of teenagers, you may be wondering how manners should come into play in your home.  Well, my theory is teach them when they are young and they will remember it when they are old.  Manners are just like anything else in our lives they take practice to truly make a routine and daily part of your child’s life.

Some of the things that I personally start young with my children are manners such as “yes ma’am and no ma’am” or “yes sir and no sir”.  I also encourage them to say “please” and “thank you” even if it is just to each other, but especially to adults.  I also encourage them to hold doors open for other people and not push or rush in line.

Other things I believe are important are saying the blessing at meal times and making prayers a part of our daily routine, this may not seem like it relates to manners, but it is something we do as a “Christian” family.

Finally, I encourage my children to keep private matters private and not talk loudly or speak when adults are talking.  These are just a few of the things I believe we can do to “begin” our children with manners even when they are young.

Photo Credit: AD-Passion

This will be a new series of blog posts on Spiritual Disciplines. These are habits and / or activities that we can incorporate into our lives and encourage our daughters to embrace and incorporate into their lives to grow in their relationship with Jesus Christ.

This series will cover the following:

Spiritual Growth

Mentoring

Prayer & Prayer Journaling

Reading God’s Word

There will be some giveaways associated with this series as well.  I’m looking forward to it and I hope you will as well.

Our kids are living in a tech generation. Unlike the generations of the past they communicate almost entirely using technology. Instead of passing hand written notes, they send text messages, instead of spray painting graffiti on bridges they write on each others’ Facebook walls, and even some of the youngest of them communicate via cell phone instead of begging for their own phone line at home. They have access to the Internet unlike any generation of the past and as a result of all of this their lives are more public than generations past as well.

Sometimes, so much so, that it is scary. They lack privacy. They lack security. They often take BIG risks, never even giving it a second thought. When I was a kid, my parents encouraged me to “think before you speak.” We must teach the kids of this tech generation to think before they hit send, before they post, before they click. Because in this instant world, they could ruin their future . . . in an instant! It really is that dangerous.

We must teach our kids to “Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” 2 Timothy 2:22 (NIV)

The following are a few statistics about this generation:

“An insurance poll found that 67% of teens admitted to texting while driving at high speed, and 37% of teens admitted to having been “extremely distracted” by texting,in some cases leading to close calls or significant accidents.” Mobile-Spy.com

“44 percent of children polled have visited x-rated sites or sites with sexual content. Moreover, 43 percent of children said they do not have rules about Internet use in their homes.”
(Time/CNN Poll, 2000)

“According to the results of a survey released today by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com, 22 percent of all teen girls — and 11 percent of teen girls ages 13-16 years old —say they have electronically sent, or posted online, nude or semi-nude images of themselves.” (MSNBC.com)
In 2006, Megan Meier, a young girl from Missouri, committed suicide after being a victim of online bullying and harassment which took the form of impersonation.”(“MySpace Mom linked,” 2007).

As parents we do not want our own kids to become a part of these statistics. There are things that parents can do to secure their children. Acknowledging that the issues are out there and that your kid could be vulnerable is the first step. Now, be proactive, take action and make sure that your kid is secure.

Visit our new site Pro-Tech the Kids.com to learn more and to sign up for more info on our upcoming Pro-Tech the Kids Workshop.

Good manners, they are something we may all hope that our children possess, but have you ever really thought about why manners are practiced? Recently, I learned that it is not common practice for young people to say “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” in more Northern states, however, it is common practice and considered to be rude by children if they do not use these terms in the South. Growing up in the South, I have always practiced these terms of what we consider respect and have also taught my children to do the same.

Recently, in my Back to the Basics of Life Seminar Series, I taught on the subject of Etiquette and Manners and the question arose whether manners were “Biblical”. I did base the lesson around certain key verses of Scripture that I had already considered, but after being posed with this question I decided to do some more digging in Scripture to see what else the Bible had to say about manners. I found more than I had imagined.

The following are some examples:

“Even a child is known by his actions,by whether his conduct is pure and right.”

Proverbs 20:11 (NIV)

This verse tells us that we are to teach out children about correct conduct. We must of course search further in Scripture to determine what is “pure and right”.

We can find some examples in these verses:

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

Luke 6:31 (NIV)

“Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel.”

Phillippians 1:27 (NIV)

All of these verses talk about how we are to conduct ourselves, from the way that we talk to the way that we act and treat others. To me, manners is all about “respect”, respect for God and man, showing others Christ through the way that we act and conduct ourselves. Manners can also be more specific however, basic manners respect yourself, God, your body, the body of Christ and those around you.

Other Scriptures for your reference include:

Luke 10:8

Proverbs 11:17

Psalm 141:3

1 Peter 4:9

1 Timothy 6: 18-19

Proverbs 15:8

Ephesians 6:1

Romans 12:13

Hebrews 10:24

Matthew 22:39

1 Peter 2:17

The following is a guest post from a friend of mine, Dr. Daisy Sutherland:

If you are unaware of what 3 R’s I am referring to they are : Respect, Responsibility and Renewal.

We can even add a 4th R to the mix, Retro.

Now you may be wondering how all these R’s apply to our lives, well, let me explain.

We as parents have roles to follow…we are to nurture, guide and love our children but most importantly prepare them for the ‘real world’.

That is where the R’s come into play. By adapting a Retro way of teaching..we can go back to the time when our parents and our parents were raising their children.

Today’s society is a bit scary for adults, you can only imagine how scary it is for our children. But if we teach them the 3R’s and how to apply them to their lives, they can survive.

Respect – this is a very important word with a strong meaning. Not only should children be taught to respect their elder, their bodies, their property..they should also be taught how Respect will work in the real world. When you show respect to others, it is shown to you. When you respect your occupation and all it entails, your life is easier. People will see that you not only respect others, but that you respect your life and all it involves. This is a very important lesson to teach our children.

Responsibility – it is extremely important to teach our children the meaning of responsibility. We must all be responsible for our actions, our thoughts and beliefs. It is not enough to say, that something is not our fault. It may very well not be our fault, but it is still our responsibility, especially if it involves us, our property or our life in general. Responsibility is something that should be taught early on in life and continue to practice it. It is not enough to teach and not practice what you preach. This lesson will teach them the meaning when they grow up to be adults and are faced with decisions that must be made.

Renewal - this is a powerful word with an even more powerful meaning. Many believe that when they make a choice or decision that they must live with their decisions forever. This is not always true. As creatures creator by our Heavenly Father, we are not perfect. We are to make mistakes and most importantly learn from our mistakes. For instance, if a teen makes a decision that was not necessarily the right one at the time, and they realize this later..there is a time for renewal. You do not need continue that same path. It works the same for adults. If they make a decision for their family or their job and it doesn’t work out, do they give up or continue on? Renewal means that you can have a fresh start and make your life a better one. There is only one judge and He loves us and knows when we are going to make the decision that may not be the right one for us. He gives us the freedom of choice, but we do not have to live with it, if it turns out to be a wrong choice. Renewal is something that is should be taught from an early age and continue throughout our lives.

I go into much more detail about the 3R’s and applying them to our parenting in my Reserved Only program. A program not only for parents of teens, but for all parents. The lessons contained are those that can be taught from an early age and applied throughout.

As a Retro Parenting Coach, I am here to help you with the daily struggles we all lead, especially in today’s society. Together we work to help you gain clarity and the confidence to parent your children to the best of your ability. And that’s all that matters, isn’t it?

Dr. Daisy Sutherland is the Founder and CEO of Dr. Mommy, LLC.  The mission of Dr. Mommy is to help you to help your family.  Dr. Daisy Sutherland has 18+ years of experience as a devoted wife, mother, writer, speaker and more years as a Doctor and Total Wellness Expert  She has learned that good parenting is a balance between healthy living – mind, body and spirit.  Dr. Mommy’s dedication to helping parents and families is evident from her work online and offline and more importantly it is evident from the high energy she exudes when talking about her true passion – helping you to help your family, in health and in life in general.

Thinking back to my own years in grade school I attempt to recall how I felt.  I know I was painfully shy and attempted to just “blend” in and not be noticed.  Though I don’t recall it at this time, I’m sure there were incidences of “mean girls” even in my day, but fortunately for me, I don’t remember it so much.  Unfortunately, for most girls today “mean girls” and their viciousness is quite rampant in today’s society.

How do you teach your daughter to deal with the “mean girls” no matter what her age?  They seem to be starting this syndrome earlier and earlier.  So, we must equip our daughter(s) to deal with it.  How, you ask? I believe many of the principles that we should teach our daughter(s), no matter if they are dealing with mean girls or not are the same principles that will equip her to deal with them.

The Golden Rule. Matthew 7:12 says, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (NIV)  So many times girls are hurt, and rightly so but they begin to focus inward, on their own thoughts and feelings and they never give a thought to the other person.  Many times girls are “mean” and vicious because of a lack of something, whether it be love, attention, or something else.  Encourage your daughter to treat the “mean girl” as she wants to be treated, not how they treat her.

Empower her. Help your daughter to focus on her own positive traits and abilities.  So many times “mean girls” target those girls who seem to have no self-esteem or a low self-esteem.  In many ways they are making it easier on themselves.  It is easier to put down a person who is already low to begin with, but if your daughter is thinking “positively” and using her own good qualities to bring up her self-esteem and empower herself she is less likely to be a victim of the “mean girls”.

Build her relationships. Again, many times girls are picked on by the “mean girls” because they are easily centered out from the others.  Have your daughter to focus on building relationships so that she is never caught alone and so she isn’t easily pegged.  A lack of good, healthy relationships in a girl’s life is one of the reasons that “mean girls’ exist in the first place.  Finding like-minded individuals in which she has things in common can help her to build good, positive relationships, which she will carry throughout life and which will be an encouragement to her.

Unfortunately, the mean girls likely won’t go away, however your daughter’s tendency to be picked on by them can change with the right focus in your daughter’s life.  Be an agent of positive change in your daughter’s life to help her to deal with and combat the role of the “mean girls” in her life.

I have heard it said many times, “Values are better caught than taught”.  Are there values or morals that you are hoping to teach your children? Do you attempt to “teach” these values or do you live them?  Are they a part of who you are and with your daily life do you show that you have that value or moral belief?

I believe that our morals and values or beliefs are shown in our actions.  If you are truly showing what you believe in then you will be “living” what you believe.  As a result your children will witness those beliefs and will begin to take them as their own, thus “catching” them.  That is why you must LIVE it.  If you don’t believe in becoming drunk with wine and are trying to teach your children to abstain from drinking alcohol then you must not do it yourself.  If you are attempting to teach your children to honor God and not devalue him by taking his name in vain then do not do it yourself.  It is that simple.

The same can be true for things that you want your children to put in high regard.  If you want them to read their Bible daily then model that action for them.  Children can learn both negative and positive actions from their parents.  Don’t you want what you are teaching them by example to be only what is “good”?

So, think about what your children are catching and if it is what you are wanting them to get or not.  Maybe you need to change your own actions or attitudes to make sure they are “worth catching”.

There are many commandments that we are given as children of God. The Bible lays these out for us in the Ten Commandments and other Scriptures. Some are easy to follow, while others we struggle with.  Honoring our father and mother is one that during our teen years we often struggle to keep.  The simple commandment,

“Honor your father and your mother,” Exodus 20:12 (NIV),

becomes so complex as get to this age.  For some strange reason as we hit around the age of thirteen our parents become dumber and we become smarter.
This was my personal experience.  I can remember thinking that they were so wrong, while I was so right.  Many an argument was fought because of this.  Whether it be a disagreement over whether I could go somewhere with my friends, how messy my room was, or how I chose to wear my hair, I thought they were wrong and I was right.

Sure, my friends often had crazy ideas my parents were right about not letting me participate in, my room did often resembled a pig sty, and my hair  needed washing more than once per week, but I sure did not think so in my naive little thirteen year old brain.

So, as moms and dads, how do we get our children, especially those of the teenage variety to clue into the fact that we are “smart”?  The truth is, as a former teen myself, I believe it is a phase we all have to go through.  Quite honestly as time went by, my parents got smarter and smarter.  I began to clue in to the fact that some of the things they were telling me really were for my own good and slowly I came back onto their side of many an issue.

By the age of eighteen I had come to realize that I needed them, they had good advice, and I could count on them more than my friends.  So, do not loose hope, your child will come around again.  So, be patient, and wait for them to realize the error of their ways, receive their newfound belief in you with love, and be grateful for their new found belief in what you have to say.

The Bible’s words are true that if you,

“Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

Let that verse be the hope that you cling to as you continue to train your child, no matter how dumb they attempt to make you feel, because Mom and Dad, your honor will soon be restored to its rightful  place.

During my teen years I vividly remember the times I desperately wanted a new shirt, a new jacket, a new anything for that matter and my dad having to tell me no. I know now after becoming a parent that it was difficult for him to do so and I also know after becoming an adult that it was not something that he could help.

No matter if he could provide everything I wanted, he always provided everything I needed and though at the time I may not have seemed grateful. Now, looking back on those days I truly am. How do you teach your daughter to be grateful, in a world where she feels pressure to keep up with the latest trends, fashions and not stand out too much from her peers?

First, it is important that she understand that it is okay not to fit in, and it is more than okay to stand out, but in a good way. Standing out and standing up for her values and beliefs is something that is far better than staying “in style”.

Once you help your daughter to establish her own identity by discussing the fact that it is okay to be different then she will soon begin to take on her own values and beliefs not just because you told her to believe that way or she has grown up around people who share specific values and beliefs, but because she believes and values those things as well. They have become a part of who she is. Take it from someone who now understands as an adult why I have certain values and beliefs and who cherishes those who taught me those things.

So, maybe my daddy couldn’t give me every new fashion trend that hit the market, but he did give me something bigger, something better and far more valuable. He gave me a strong set of morals, values and beliefs that have carried me much farther than any fad every could.

Do you have an open door policy? Meaning, can your daughter and her friends hang out at your house whenever they want? I just recently watched an episode of Wife Swap. Both ladies on the show had swapped places with each other and both families had teenage girls. One of the moms allowed her daughter(s) to have company anytime including male friends without supervision, while the other never allowed her daughters to have friends over.

The show was a bit sad, with both of the situations being a bit extreme. One set of girls was completely out of control while  the other set was so sheltered and honestly quite pitiful as they were treated so negatively by their parents. Neither set really had a healthy situation in my opinion, which made me think there had to be a happy medium.

It is important that we allow our daughters to have some freedom, especially our teens. But we also have to give restrictions too. There has to be a sense of trust established in order for proper restrictions and balance to be maintained.  A good practice is an open door policy that includes allowing friends to visit when there is adult supervision. You will be surprised how much you can learn from and about your daughter as you witness her interacting with her friends.

Not only will this help you in your relationship with your daughter, your knowledge of her friends and the way that she interacts with them, but it will also help her in her ability to face temptation and say no to it.  She will realize the support that she has in you, as you faithfully back her up and encourage her, not to mention are open to her ideas, and the friendships that she seeks to maintain become a part of your whole family, not just her life but all of your lives.

The friends that she has come over will begin to see the love that you have for your daughter and will begin to respect you, your rules, and your morals and viewpoints.  They will then be more likely to refrain from pressuring your daughter with temptations that they know you would be against.  They would have a greater sense of responsibility to you as they too have a relationship with you.

Then, there is much to be said about how much better you’ll know her friends and how much they will respect you for having them around, opening up your doors, your home and your life to them. It can really do wonders for not only your relationship with your daughter(s) but also your relationship with her friends and her relationship with them as well.

Being a parent of a teen or tween can be tough, I know, but fortunately in this technologically driven age there are so many ways you can connect with them.  Just this morning on the radio I heard that technology and computers is actually a great tool for parents to connect with their teens and I couldn’t agree more.  Whether it is texting them to find out where they are or connecting with them online through social networking sites such as Facebook, there are so many positives to using technology to connect with your teen or tween.

Maybe you feel like you are a little behind in the times when it comes to these new ways of connecting, but the good news is they aren’t hard to learn.  In case you are completely out of the loop and do not have a clue what Facebook is, I”ll start with the basics and walk you through. 

Facebook is a social networking site, or in less techy terms, it’s a place online to connect with others by displaying info about your self including pictures, favorites, hobbies, etc and then befriending others who will communicate with you via your profile by writing you notes, sending you messages and so on.  You can connect and share through pictures, messages and even videos.

Facebook is very user friendly and has been used by everyone from teens to professionals.  You are sure to know someone on Facebook, so after you set up a profile it is almost certain you will make friends immediately and maybe even find old classmates to connect with as well.

However, more than anything, if you’re a parent it is a great way to connect with your teen, because let’s face it, teens and tweens of today, communicate through technology more than they do through opening their own mouths, and they have a whole other social world online unlike any other previous generation.

And though I am encouraging you to venture into this “world” of theirs I also encourage you to do so with caution.  Your child most likely will react in one of two ways,  they will happily befriend you online or they will wish you’d never found out about Facebook.

So, be careful as you begin this venture because you want this to be a positive experience for the both of you.  First you want to be honest with them, ask them about Facebook, even ask them to help you set  up your profile.  Let them know that you want to learn about it and need their help.

Do find other people to connect with, you don’t want your teen to think that you are only on there to snoop on them.  Be aware too that they have control over their privacy on Facebook, it’s privacy settings allow anyone to hide pictures, messages and more from those that they do not want to see it.  So, you may not be seeing everything on your child’s profile, but you can see what they allow you to and it may be a great way to find out things you haven’t known about them before.

Don’t try and befriend their friends on Facebook, unless they request that you add them.  This will cause your child much embarrassment so just lay low.   However, if your child or their friends want to befriend you, then by all means connect!

Facebook really can be a powerful tool for your relationship and can help you to see your child in a new and different light.  So, don’t let it scare you, use it today to enhance your relationship.

4 Keys To Peaceful Communication
By: Tami Walsh

Areas of Mother-Daughter Conflict Include But Aren’t Limited To:

* Independence/Power Struggles
* Curfew
* Friends you believe are negative influences
* Grades/Academic Performance
* Choices/Decision Making
* Homework/Procrastination
* Dating
* Drinking/Drugs
* Taking personal responsibility for her life/her priorities, etc.
* Respect/Attitude/Talking Back
* Parties without adult supervision

There are also some additional timely conflict areas given the access to internet sites such as YOUTube, MySpace and Facebook.com. Anxiety levels between mothers and daughters often center around those sites and the content girls want to display as well as the amount of time girls spend on them.

As your eternal optimist and parenting coach, I am here to say, there are a few key ways to bridge these gaps and have more closeness and connection.

1. Talk to Other Moms Regularly

Learn what other moms are experiencing with their daughters. When children are younger, moms communicated more with each other on the playground, etc. As children become teens, it becomes harder to connect with other parents because teens’ social lives are in “their hands.”

Remedy: It is important to communicate and connect with other moms. Have lunch and talk. Reach out to others who are not necessarily your close friends as well. You can learn a lot about what YOUR relationship by talking to other moms. You can also “band together” to raise your teen safely and feel “in the loop” on her life.

Bonus Idea: Create a forum for other parents to discuss issues and concerns by hosting a lunch or brunch in your home. And you can choose to let your teen know or not know that you are doing so. That’s YOUR right as a parent.

2. Listening

Listening is the foundation of all good communication. How do you talk to your teen when she has an attitude or won’t communicate? When she comes home from school, she may be ranting and raving about a teacher or coach who has singled her out. You feel angry and reactive because of her bad attitude or tone of voice, yet you know she is upset and you want to help. What can you do?

Remedy: Learn to listen and do what I call the “pause and parrot” technique. For 60 seconds, actually looking at the second hand on your watch, stay completely quiet. Listen without interrupting or saying anything. Don’t give advice or try to fix it.

After the 60 seconds, “feed back” or “parrot” what your daughter is saying versus giving her feedback. For example, your daughter is ranting and complaining about how much her math teacher hates her, you look at your watch and time yourself for 60 seconds and even if your daughter asks if you are listening just nod your head affirmatively. After one complete minute, you would say something like, “you are really angry at your teacher” or “you really feel like she/he is out to get you don’t you?”

Initially your teenager may look at your sideways (especially if you have traditionally been Fix-It-Mom) but doing this will most likely reduce the level of ranting and raving and let her know you empathize with her struggle.

Here’s The Key: Teens want to feel heard and more than anything they want to feel like you understand them. Using the “pause and parrot” technique lets your daughter know that you are listening without judging and you are a safe person to go to when she has a problem.

Bonus: When she feels listened to and heard, she is in a better position to solve her own problems or possibly take suggestions from you! Cool!!

3. Effective Dialoging

All mom’s can relate to being the recipient of the “teen eye roll” or the blank stare. These are indicators that your daughter is shutting you off. This can occur when she feels you are lecturing, preaching or repeating yourself (teens HATE that!)

Remedy: Instead of sounding like a broken record to your teen, ask questions to get her thinking. For example, one of my client’s daughters came home from school and she had a list of friends she wanted to invite to her sweet 16 party. Her mom looked over the list and saw the name of a girl she couldn’t believe her daughter had thought to invite because this girl had historically treated the daughter horribly. (Can you relate?)

The mom launched right in to what I call “teacher mode” and began to badger her daughter to find out why she had included the girl’s name on the list. The daughter got defensive and shut down, feeling undermined by her mom’s questioning. This is a tough situation and one that I empathize with mom’s on. How can your daughter think of inviting a girl who had been so mean to her just months ago to the point of tears, and now think of including her on her special birthday celebration? It’s so difficult to detach from your own emotions and allow your daughter the dignity to make her own choice, but YOU HAVE TO DO IT! You don’t however have to stay completely quiet about this. I recommend you ask questions to get your daughter thinking about her choice to invite this girl. For example, you can say something like this:

“I see you have such a great list here and a lot of friends you want to invite. This is going to be a terrific party. I noticed you have “———“ name on this list. What makes you want to invite her to the party? Do you think you’ll be comfortable having her there” If you ask these questions in a gentle way (not from a heated or charged place because of your personal disdain for this girl) she will tend to think about how she might feel rather than become defensive or shut down.

4. Four-to-One Rule

Remedy: Every time you hear yourself make a demand, or critical comment, find four ways to acknowledge or praise your daughter. This also applies to daughters for their mothers. (Glad you’ll be getting more “thank you’s” soon?) This will bring you both out of the vacuum of being critical and become more respectful of your relationship.

Bonus Exercise: Take 5 minutes each night and go into your daughter’s room. For 5 minutes tell each other what you value and you appreciate about one another. This reduces tension and builds a bridge immediately.

Article by:

Tami Walsh, M.A. is President and founder of TeenWisdom, a Los Angeles and San Diego based life coaching company dedicated to the empowerment of teens and parents. Tami is often referred to by teens as the “older sister you’ve always wanted” because she understands what today’s teenagers are going through, and she gives them the no-nonsense advice they are looking for. To learn more about Tami’s products and services, visit her website www.teenwisdom.com

I knew at the age of 16 that I was passionate about Jesus, and beauty and fashion, but could I turn that into a career. Maybe. My mom and dad thought it would be safer to be a counselor, and began encouraging me to pursue the education necessary to be a licensed counselor. Unfortunately, it is not my passion or my dream. For several years, however, I pursued the field of counseling one hundred percent. I went through many graduate school applications and grueling interviews. I was accepted to three different graduate school programs. I even took several classes in one particular program, only to realize more and more that it was not my calling or my passion.

Well known Christian author Max Lucado suggests in his work, The Cure for the Common Life that instead of asking our children, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” a better question would be “How can I help you become what God has already designed you to be?” You see, God designed me for a special purpose, to be a specific thing, and he has done that for each individual on the face of this earth, so it is important that we are allowed to be what it is God designed for us to be.

God set his plan for each of us in motion the day that we were born. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV) We are all as Christians certain of that great plan, that story of our life.

We all have a story, and as we live our lives, we are living out our story. We must also allow our children to live their story. Lucado says STORY stands for:

S – our strengths, those things that we do well,
T – our topics, the things we are most interested in,
O – our optimal conditions, the conditions in which we do our best work, perform to the best of our ability,
R – our relationships, those with whom we share and learn from,
Y – and our yes moments, those primary outcomes that bring us the most joy.

We must allow our daughters to live out their very own story. A card I got recently as congratulations on my new baby girl said this,

“She will dream her very own dreams, Maybe she will look like you, talk like you, smile like you … maybe she’ll sing, paint and dance like you, but she’ll dream her very own dreams.”

Dreams are important, they give us something to look forward to with anticipation. I know you had your own dreams, now allow your daughter to not only have hers, but to live them out. Be her biggest cheerleader and watch her win at this game we call life. Help her along the way with words of encouragement, many hugs and love and even some discipline if it is in order. However, do not discourage your daughter from living out her dreams. God gave them to her and it is important that she follows His path for her life. You can be assured that if she is following God, that there are many plans in her heart, but the Lord is directing her steps.

Are we loosing our legacy of faith? Is the next generation carrying on your legacy of faith as you continued that of your mother’s and father’s. I know that my generation, known as Generation X has definitely gotten a bad rap for leaving our faith behind. I can’t tell you how many times I have had people tell me, “There aren’t many people your age in ministry these days.” This is sad, but true. How about your children do you think that they will continue in the faith that you’re planting in them? I know you hope so and so do I.

We have to leave our children with strong roots that will ground them in the faith that we put our hope and trust in. The important thing is to give them those roots. We are all to follow the words of Deuteronomy 6:6-9

“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

These words still apply to us today. In order for us to expect our children to continue to walk in the faith that you have taught them about you must continually teach them allowing it to become a part of who they are, you must also encourage them to continually learn more about the Lord themselves, nurturing their own personal relationship with him. A relationship with a parent or even both parents is important, but it cannot replace their relationship with their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This is truly the only way that they can be grounded enough to continue in their faith for the long run.

In Family Driven Faith, Dr.Voddie Baucham identifies timeless precepts and principles from Scripture for raising our sons and daughters to stand firm in a post-Christian society.

God has not left parents alone in raising godly children, but has given us valuable and timeless precepts in His Word for successful training, if parents will only take the time to study and learn from the Heavenly Father.

Drawing from Deuteronomy 6 and other passages, Dr. Baucham explains the power of family-centered discipleship, demonstrating how the day-to-day training of our children can lay the groundwork for multi-generational faithfulness.

Faithfulness is important not only to our generation but to the generations to follow, pour yourself into the next generation by making practice of both Deuteronomy 6 and the pearls that Dr. Voddie Baucham draws from it in this great book.

Tonight over dinner at my church with friends I was chatting with a friend of mine who has a young son. She told me that she had recently had a conversation with her son regarding his aunt who had been trying to get pregnant and was. He said in response to her, “how did she try?” She was a little surprised and then afraid of where the conversation would lead.

It made me realize just how soon I’ll be having the “birds and the bees” conversation with my own children. Conversations with our children about purity and sex are very important. In these days when children in our society are learning these things earlier and earlier you want to be sure that your child hears the truth from you.

A great book that helps your daughter to understand the importance of purity, right down to her first kiss is The Princess and the Kiss by Jennie Bishop.

In this book, a loving king and queen present their daughter with a gift from God — her first kiss — to keep or to give away. Amidst a culture that mocks purity and virtue, give your daughters a story book that beautifully portrays the value of purity and the rewards of waiting on God’s timing.

Don’t you want your daughter to treasure the purity even of her first kiss?

Children are a blessing from the Lord. You hear this so many times. However, do you give your children a blessing in return? Do you give the children the blessing of being their cheerleader, their encourager, and giving them your approval even when they don’t always do exactly as you’d like.

We as parents must lovingly guide our children. As the Bible says we must “train a child in the way he should go so that when he is old he shall not depart from it.” This is exactly as we should do and are called by God to do. This training starts at a very young age and must consistently continue throughout a child’s life.

One of the biggest ways that you can bless your child is by being there for them and showing them your love and affection. This can be done so by physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time spent together.

Any of these things help to show your child your love. Be sure and be a blessing to your child today.

Are you Singing the Busy Blues?

I’m automatically reminded of the Alabama hit,

“I’m in a hurry to get things done, I rush and rush until life’s no fun, all I really gotta do is live and die, so I’m in a hurry and don’t know why.”

Are you too busy? I think in today’s world we all seem to have a case of the busy bees.

I’d like to share some statistics I found with you about being too busy:

The United States is the only country where women topped men in saying they were 1) almost always busy and 2) that busyness affected their spiritual walk.

I can totally relate just the week before last I had the following schedule: Monday was Labor day, luckily, Tuesday was TPA, Wednesday was church, Thursday was a meeting for setting up the women’s conference at church, Friday was a meal with the ladies, and Saturday was the women’s conference and of course church on Sunday.

Titus 2:3-5 says,

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

The Bible tells us to be “busy in the home” in Titus, but it never says to be busy, “at the school, in the workplace, in the community.” Where does your case of the busies come from?

We can be so busy that we loose sight of our purpose, and God’s purpose for us as a wife, as a mom, as a servant of His.

I have been reading a book lately about breaking free from spiritual bondage, which is short for: from Satan’s hold on your life. I found this anonymous writing about Satan and I must say… it made me think, and I think that they have something here, so if you don’t believe Satan is alive and well, well think again.

I found the following anonymous illustration about the devil that I would like to share with you.

BEING B-U-S-Y (The Devil’s Convention)
Satan called a worldwide convention. In his opening address to his evil angels, he said “We can’t keep the Christians from going to church. We can’t keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth. We can’t even keep them from conservative values.
But we can do something else. We can keep them from forming an intimate, abiding relationship in Christ. If they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken.
So let them go to church, let them have their conservative lifestyles, but steal their time so they can’t gain that experience in Jesus Christ. This is what I want you to do, angels. Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their day!”
“How shall we do this?” shouted his angels.
“Keep them busy in the nonessentials of life and invent unnumbered schemes to occupy their minds,” he answered.
“Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, then borrow, borrow, borrow. Convince the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6 or 7 days a week, 10 to 12 hours a day, so they can afford their lifestyles. Keep them from spending time with their children. As their family fragments, soon their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work.”
“Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that small still voice. Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive, to keep the TV, VCR, DVDs, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their homes. And see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays non-biblical, contradictory music constantly. This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ.”
“Fill their coffee-tables with magazines and newspapers. Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day. Invade their driving moments with billboards. Flood their mailboxes with junk-mail, sweepstakes, mail-order catalogues and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes.”
“Even in their recreation let them be excessive. Have them return from the recreation exhausted, disquieted and unprepared for the coming week. Don’t let them go out to nature to reflect on God’s wonders. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, concerts and movies instead.”
“And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences and unsettled emotions.”
“Let them be involved in soul-winning, but crowd their lives with so many causes that they have no time to seek power from Christ. Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause.”
It was quite a convention in the end. The evil angels went to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busy, busy, busy and rush here and there.
Has the devil been successful in his scheme?
You be the judge.
How about this definition of BUSY: Being Under Satan’s Yoke

Satan’s goal is to take our minds away from Christ and steer us towards the cares of the world. God wants us to enjoy life, but He must be first. If we are too busy for God, then we are too busy!
So, what do we do about it? We must go back to our first love, give God our first fruits. Remember back to when you first got married how much time you spent with your spouse, how you wanted to be around them every minute. Now, unless you’re a newly wed, what about now, not so much, huh?

We sometimes do that with God we allow him to become our “old man” and forget how much we love him. We also give him our leftovers. We squeeze in every possible activity we can into a day and we give God 5 minutes before bed.

So, we must make a renewed commitment to “seek ye first his kingdom and his righteousness” and God promises, “all the rest shall be added unto you.” You do your part and God will surely do his.

Peer pressure is something many teens struggle with as they head back to school. It might influence something simple such as what style of shoes that they choose to wear, but it can be more serious as well. Peer pressure has an influence on the lives of teens in many areas, from sexual practices to drinking. Choosing to not give in and rather to abstain from these activities is often difficult for them.

When a teen is attempting to make a decision regarding what to do in any given situation they like most humans, you would think would use logical reasoning and weight the pros and cons. You would also think that they would think of how their decision might influence others around them such as their parents and their peers, however this is not true. Teens on the other hand are very egocentric, or self-centered, with their thinking, they do not seem to care about how their decisions will influence others, and as a result only care about themselves, or that is how it seems.

Teens also think in a way which psychologists call “magical thinking” this is the “it will never happen to me” type thinking. Therefore, they do not think that anything bad can happen to them, therefore they succumb to peer pressure and as a result may make negative choices, such as choosing to drive too fast, or to drink a beer or two, or to go to far sexually with a person of the opposite sex. They do not think that the negative consequences can follow because in their minds, that “can never happen to them”. So, they do not even consider the consequences such as wrecking, harm to themselves or others, or pregnancy.

Parents often find it difficult to deal with teens and their skewed ways of thinking. It is often also difficult for parents to teach their teens the valuable art of saying no. However, at such an important time in a teen’s life their parents influence is so important to combat that influence of their peers. After all, it is still true that parents have the greatest influence on their teens over every other group of people in a teen’s life. Therefore, parents take your role seriously and look for ways to make saying “no” easier on your teen.

Alyssa has a special report available, “Seven Easy Tips: Encouraging your Daughter to Say “No”. You can find it here.

Sexual Body Language

I was approached recently about a situation where a teen girl was being overly flirtatious with the teen boys and even the adult males on a recent youth trip. My thoughts were, “how far is too far?” I know as a teen growing up that my mom and dad cautioned me about “hanging all over” my boyfriend or even my “male” friends. They were of course concerned about what that would make my boyfriend expect from me but also how it made me as a girl look. The old saying, “easy” comes to mind.
I know that we should not worry what others think of us, but as females, we should think about what we’re doing. And what that is saying to those around us, what language it is speaking, what vibes it is giving off and we should make sure that it is presenting ourselves to others the way that we would want to be portrayed.
Therefore, when teaching your teen daughter about this subject it is important to instill in her the principles about this that the Bible teaches. Yes, the Bible does speak on this subject. We are instructed in 1 Corinthians 6:20, “You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” When we loosely throw ourselves on the opposite sex, whether or not our “intentions” are good or bad, we are not honoring God with our bodies. God’s Word says that there should be “not even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” (Ephesians 5:3 NIV) Being overly flirtatious and loose with ourselves as girls can lead to sexual immorality and is in itself a small type of it, therefore it is best not to do this at all.
This reminds me very much of the debate on alcohol, no God’s Word does not say specifically, “do not drink alcohol.” God’s Word does however warn about becoming drunk. In this same way, God’s Word warns about your behavior, especially those behaviors that can lead to other things that would cause you to NOT honor God with your body. God created us and when creating us, he created us as sexual beings; however, he put some limitations in his Word for how we should use that to our advantage in the reigns of a marital relationship. God would only do this if it were what was best for us. God is the author and creator of everything; therefore, he indeed knows what is the very best for us. Explain to your daughter the very special and unique situation this creates in the relationship that God intends for us to use this part of our bodies for when you are giving her this warning.
It is important that we as parents talk to our daughters about this very important topic. I mean honestly, do you want someone else to have to call her on this when she is stepping out of line. Or would you rather her know in the first place and not be caught in this situation.

By: Alyssa Avant

Traditions, defined by the Wikipedia online dictionary as a Latin word that mean literally means to “hand down”, it is the handing down of customs and beliefs. There are many traditions in our world. Religious traditions exist in almost every religious organization. We also have family traditions. I’m sure your family might have some that are similar to those that my family celebrated, and some that are quite possibly very different.

Some of our traditions include, Sunday lunch at my grandmother’s house when I was a kid, Easter egg hunts with all my cousins at my great-grandmother’s house, attending a candlelight Lord’s supper on Christmas Eve at church, or a 4th of July cookout. All of these things were ways of celebrating together, and more often than not a good excuse to eat, no I’m just kidding. But, traditions are valuable in one’s life and something we do not easily forget or allow to let go. They are also Biblical. ForeverFamilies.net says, “Some traditions are based on God’s commandments, such as praying before meals.” Can you think of others, such as saying bedtime prayers with your children? Starting traditions help us to connect and define what is important to us.

Family scholars Nick Stinnett and John DeFrain say that traditions are the “we always” of families, like “We always make snow ice cream at the first snowfall,” or “We always have games and popcorn on Saturday night.” Because such traditions have meaning that is special to an individual family, they create feelings of warmth and closeness. By spending time together in a fun and special setting, family members grow closer.

Traditions can be simple, and the more simple they are the more likely you are to stick to them. Remember when creating new traditions that the point of a tradition is to be able to stick to it and practice it over and over, so make sure it is something you can easily do year after year. Some simple examples of traditions include, making a family members favorite meal for their birthday, saying a prayer together every night before bed, baking cookies together on Christmas Eve, or calling long distance relatives on Valentine’s Day to tell them you love them.

I’m sure this has gotten you to thinking about what your traditions are and how you can pass them on to your daughter, instilling in her the importance of family, and of building traditions into one’s daily life as a way to stay connected.

By: Aurelia Williams

Ah, dating. It’s a part of every teen’s life. It’s also a source of stress for most parents when their child reaches this pivotal point. It doesn’t have to be stressful. Here are a few tips to help you keep the fear at bay when your teenager starts dating.

Age: More than a Number
Just because it seems like everyone other parent on the planet is letting their teen date, doesn’t mean you have to. Especially if your teen isn’t ready. Keep an eye out for signs that your teen is really ready to date. Dating shouldn’t be based on age alone. Take into consideration maturity and not just physical maturity. Emotional and mental maturities are more important when your teen starts dating.

Open Communication
Keep the lines of communication open. Talk to your teen and be honest about your feelings. Listen to their feelings as well. You might be surprised to find that they are just as scared as you are. Also, don’t immediately go off the deep end the first time you hear the phrase “Check her out!” or “He’s hot!” Be there for your teen when they experience the good and the bad of their dating experiences.

Groups Dates
If you are uncomfortable letting your teen go on a one on one date, try letting them go with a group the first few of times. Even if the group is split up in pairs, it still allows your teen to feel like he/she fits in, but you’ll have the safety of knowing that it’s not just your teen against one other if something were to go wrong. Public places, such as bowling alleys or miniature golf courses are a great option for group dates.

Respect all Around
Teach your teen to respect the opposite sex long before they begin dating. Remember, they can�t respect someone else before they respect themselves. Make sure your teen truly respects him/her before allowing them to date.

Rules
Set rules before your teen begins dating and stick with them. The days of courting and getting permission may be gone, but that doesn’t mean you don�t have to know who your teen is with, where they are going, how they are getting there, and when they’ll be home. Set a curfew that you feel comfortable with and keep in mind any laws in your area when doing so. Just because your town’s curfew may be midnight, doesn’t mean your teen should stay out that late if you aren’t comfortable with it. However, an 8 o’clock curfew won�t go over well at all and will likely lead to rebellion from your teen at some point. Find a happy medium that you are both comfortable with.

Article by:
Need more free tips on parenting teenagers? Parenting My Teen Podcast discusses this and other teen issues parents face. You can also pick up the Parenting My Teen Oath while you’re there.

A girl’s relationship with her mother is one of the most important relationships in their life. As a youth and children’s minister, I have done a great amount of research on who affects the lives of children and teens. Profoundly, every study shows that parents have the greatest affect upon the lives of their children, greater than peers, friends, teachers or others in their lives such as ministers.
I consider myself lucky that I have and have always had an excellent relationship with both my mother and my father. I reflect on my relationship with my mom and realize that it has shaped who I have become today. My mom was always open and honest with me about almost every topic or issue that I faced in life, from being scared of thunder when I was younger, to being the only girl in my class who couldn’t stay out till midnight in ninth grade. My mom was also brutally honest when it came to issues such as sex, drugs, and alcohol.
One thing my parents did without fail was to back up their discipline with Scripture. An easy way to share with each other what the Bible says about certain issues is to search the Scriptures for answers together when an issue arises in their life. My parents and I did this on a regular basis. I would often want them to “prove” that the Bible really said something so they would get down the Bible, search the concordance, and show me the Scripture. Today, as a result I can tell someone almost immediately what the Bible says about certain topics as I have been shown it myself, many times.
After all the Bible says in Proverbs, “Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he shall not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. I also find evidence of the practices my parents used in Deuteronomy 6:4-8

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [a] 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”

Finding evidence of the way we should deal with our problems and issues in God’s word can strengthen our relationships with our children. I am thankful for parents and especially a mother who boldly proclaimed Scripture to me in times of trouble and was not afraid to look for it when she was unsure.

Do you wish you could connect with your daughter in a meaningful, powerful way? I hope to give you inspiration, tools and ideas that will help you to do just that.

Moms, I’m sure you can remember the day you found out you were having a baby girl. Maybe it was through an ultrasound, during your pregnancy, or maybe it was on the day she was born. Either way, try to remember now how you felt, what thoughts crossed your mind. It is very important to remember how you felt that day; this can help you focus upon how special it is that you have a daughter.

God gave you a very special gift when he blessed you with a child, but he also knew that child would be a girl and he had a special plan in that as well. Your daughter was born into the specific generation she is in not by accident, but “on purpose”. You have a special place in this, because you are her mother. God has give you an even greater responsibility “to train a child in the way she should go.” Proverbs 22:6 (NIV)

I know you want to do this and more. We all want the very best for our children, we all want to not only prepare them for their future, but also inspire them to take their place in their generation, and to find their purpose in life, God wants them to be set apart for “such a time as this” in their lives. Esther 4:14 (NIV)

One of the first keys to impacting your daughter is by setting an example for her. She needs a faithful example of a Godly woman to help her to become one herself. No on in her life can ensure that she has that example more than you, her mother can. Your faithful example will help her to leave a legacy of faith. Show her a proper relationship with Christ, by modeling it for her. Do you have a regular daily quiet time and if so does she know it? I know a lady who does have a daily quiet time, alone in her room, each morning. She told me the story of her little boy discovering this one day. She would inform him every day that she was going up to her room for “her time” and would make sure that he was occupied while she would be gone and then she’d head upstairs. She never realized that he wondered what she did during “her time”, until one day, she saw him sneaking up the stairs, and peeking in on her room. That day she realized he was curious and even more that he needed to know what she was doing. Therefore, she began to share with him. Now, years later, the boy is a teenager, and every morning after breakfast she says she’s heading up for ‘her time” and he says, “I’ll be in my room doing “my time”. She has modeled this time alone with God for him and now he makes it part of his life as well.

Having a daily quiet time is just one of the ways that you can model for your daughter how to have a relationship with Christ. Making Christ apart of your home and your everyday routine is another way. How many times is Jesus mentioned in your home each day? Does your family share a meal together and bless that meal with a prayer of thanksgiving before you eat? I realize this sounds like something very small, but can make a huge impact on your life. Verbally mentioning the name of God can do so much for your children.

Prayer is such a valuable tool in connecting with God and with your daughter as well. Through prayer, you can fuse the relationship you have with your daughter, and have a permanent bond that no one can take away. I heard a speaker at a parent-youth conference last February who gave such an amazing example of the connecting between a parent and a teen.

He used the example of the connection between a parent and a teen or child as being a “heart connection”. The idea was that as parents we have a connection with our children that we can visualize as being a pipeline from our heart to theirs. The pipe is connected when we are turned towards each other and in good relationship with each other. However, this connection can easily be broken, when your child goes out into the world their pipeline is susceptible to others and other people can then try and connect with your daughter or child. These people include anyone who has an influence upon her. Who influences your daughter? Think about it, it could possibly be a teacher, coach, youth leader, friend, and boyfriend. The list could go on and on. It is your job as a parent to ensure that your daughters pipeline is only connected to you and to God. This is the strongest influence upon their life. Because we know that “where their treasure is there their heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21 (NIV) you want them to treasure their relationship with you enough for it to be their main heart connection, outside their relationship with God.

How do you ensure that this be the case? This all begins at home, when your daughter arrives home from school, if you are there do you immediately greet her and ask her about her day, sit down, listen and connect with her. Listening is very powerful, your daughter when just coming in from the day at school will be full of information to share about her life, her friends, and her activities. If she is not opening up and sharing with you, encourage her to but never force it, just be there and willing to listen.

My own mom was always there to listen, offer advice when I needed it, or seal her lips when she knew I didn’t want to hear it. These things helped me to become the person I am today and I hope that I will be able to do the same with my own daughter. I know no matter what I’ll impact her in some way. I pray that both you and I impact our daughters for the good of the next generation.

A couple of weeks ago , I visited New Orleans, LA to take a course at the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary where I have been a Master�s student since 03. I am finally, cross your fingers, say a little prayer, going to graduate in Dec. 07. While there my hubby and I had some free time one night and visited the Barnes & Noble. We browsed the isles for over an hour. We both LOVE to read and there was literally 1000s of selections to choose from. The store was the biggest one I�ve ever been in with 2 stories. Finally locating the Christian Living Section I was amazed at how many books were there, and that just behind it was the Islam section. It was odd to walk up the isle and see those two topics facing each other.

I began to peruse my options thinking that I sure needed a good new devotional/inspirational type book to keep me focused in the days ahead,� with a newborn on her way. While browsing the titles I realized that I could easily make a poor selection as the number of authors, viewpoints, and opinions was prevalent in this section. I know that not all doctrine is sound in books that appear in a �secular� bookstore, so I knew I had to be careful when making a choice of an inspirational type book.

You would know then, that I was very pleased when I ran across one of my favorite authors, Elizabeth George, the title of the book �Small Changes for a Better Life� also jumped out at me. I read the back and glanced over the Table of Contents, realizing this would be a good choice. I said a silent prayer for God�s confirmation as I picked up another few books from that section and had a look at them. He kept drawing me back to Mrs. George�s book so I told my husband, I�m getting this and we went to check out.

Arriving back at our room that night I began to read. Each day you are given a small change to make in your life that wiill help you to find fulfillment and excel in your relationships , friendships, spiritual life and more, helping to achieve God�s best for your life. The first chapter spoke of seeking God�s Wisdom. This made me perk up because it was by no mistake I had purchased this book, you see, I was taking a Spiritual Gifts class at the seminary and we had just spoken in class that day of seeking God�s wisdom and we had just read over the same verse that Mrs. George highlighted in her first chapter, James 1:5 which says, �If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God�. and it will be given to him.� WOW!! God was arranging all of this and I knew this was a book I was meant to read.

Maybe God has put this article in your path for the same purpose, so that you could be given wisdom from him. I do highly recommend any of Elizabeth George�s works, especially this one, �Small Changes for a Better Life�. Pick yours up today.

I came across this article and it really intrigued me because I have a daddy who has raised both I and my younger brother to be extremely independent. I really think my independence has helped me over the years and therefore think it is important to raise your child to be this way. Enjoy this article:

Raising an Independent Teen

By: Audrey Okaneko

I remember posting on a message board about opening a checking account for my 16 year old. She and I had picked a date, gone to the bank, brought all of the paperwork and opened her account. She and I both were both excited.

I was truly amazed at the large number of moms who thought I was crazy. They each had different reasons, for thinking I was nuts. They did not feel their own children could handle the responsibility of having a checking account, or they did not feel their own children would understand that having more checks did not mean they had money, or they did not believe a 16 year old should have their own checking account. Many women said they did not believe the part time babysitting job their child had, gave the child enough money to justify opening an account.

In just two years all of these kids will be 18. Many will be leaving home. If they have not been taught money management, have not been taught how to balance a checkbook and have not been taught how to use a check book register while at home, how will they know when they leave home?

Having worked in a college bookstore, I can share numerous stories of 18-20 year olds who had no idea how to write a check, how to record a check or how to balance a checkbook. A few students were not even sure where to sign their checks. Others, when asked to please print their local address on the check, put it on the bottom under the routing numbers. They did not realize that this was not ok.

If as a parent you truly believe your 16 year old is not ready for the responsibility of a checkbook, then consider an Excel spreadsheet. When my daughter was about 13, we created two spreadsheets. One was for clothing and one was for school lunches. We looked at how much money I spent in an entire year on her clothing. This was her beginning balance. Each time we bought shoes, pants, earrings etc, she had to record the purchase. Excel does the math, so she was able to see her total balance go down as she made purchases. She also could look at her total left and make choices of what was more important, the very expensive pair of shoes, or a few new sweatshirts for winter. She knew when the money was gone, there was no more. If her choice was the shoes and she had no warm clothes, she’d have to wear last years, or wear mine. What teen wants to wear mom’s clothes?

Her lunch allowance was a running total. She began each week with $5. If she did not spend it in week one, then at the beginning of week two she had $10. Again, Excel did the math, but she needed to add the $5 each Monday and then deduct what she spent each day. If she did not record purchases, she was not given $5 the following Monday.

These spread sheets taught her how to add money in and subtract money out while recording where the money went.

The other area where I believe we can help our kids become independent is shopping for food and cooking. A 16 year old is plenty old enough to prepare one meal a week. If their schedule does not allow one meal a week, then try one meal per month. If you don’t help your child learn to choose ingredients, read a recipe and cook a meal, how will they know how to do this when they no longer live with you? My older daughter has a friend getting married next week. Right now, this gal eats McDonalds twice a day. She doesn’t cook. Not only is this expensive, but it is so unhealthy. We make awesome burgers at home. We load on BBQ sauce and onion rings, or teriyaki sauce with pineapple rings, or many other toppings. So, we do eat burgers, but we make them ourselves. Both of my kids can make great burgers.

Both of my kids have always gone to the market with me. They know how to read labels, check ingredients in products and pick out fresh fruits and vegetables. Again, if they don’t do this with you, how will they know how to do this when they leave your home? My kids also know how to shop for store sales. They know how to read the store labels and determine how much they are paying per unit or per ounce so they can compare sizes and brands.

These are just two areas we can help our teens to feel more independent, and prepare them for adulthood.

Article by:

Audrey Okaneko is mom to two girls. She can be reached at audreyoka@cox.net or visited at www.scrapping-made-simple.com

Praying with Your Teen

By: Rachel Paxton

I don’t remember my parents ever praying with me. It wasn’t until I was a parent myself, and a born again believer, that I realized one of the outward signs of a committed Christian is their active prayer life.

Article by:�

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of four. For complete resources for the Christian home, visit her web site at www.Christian-Parent.com.�

This article is available for reprint with author’s resource box intact and all links live and clickable. Copyright is reserved by author.