Facebook and the Internet as a whole is an amazing tool. I’m amazed that in my short lifetime how far we have come in society with technology, but as amazing and awesome as this technology is it can easily be used and abused.

If used inappropriately Facebook and many other places on the Internet can be detrimental to us and especially to teens who unintentionally post things to Facebook not thinking of what the consequences might be.

Unfortunately, many girls use Facebook as a place to display the many pictures that they have taken with family and friends. This may seem like no big deal, but it depends on what the pictures portray that girl doing. Is she at a football game having good clean fun or is she at a wild party complete with booze, smoking and more?

Is she dressed appropriately in the pictures, or is she revealing too much and more than she would truly want someone to see if she gave it a second or maybe even third thought. The Internet is a very public place, even if you make things as private as possible.

My warning to girls is to think before they post. My daddy used to drill into my head, “think before you speak”. I’d like to drill into the heads of tween and teen girls on Facebook, “think before you post your pictures” and think before you post pictures of your friends. You may mean well, but you may be ruining your reputation, the reputation of your friends or even worse, your future.

Recently, I spoke with a childhood friend who had recently been passed over for a very good job because of pictures that someone else had posted of him on Facebook. The pictures portrayed him drinking, out at bars and having a good time. For some they might have been seen as harmless, but for the people who were looking to hire him, they made him seem irresponsible and immature and not a mature adult worthy of becoming their employee.

This proves that people are watching, people are paying attention and what is posted on Facebook is powerful. So my challenge to teens is to be careful. Be sure that what you post is appropriate and that it is something you can be proud of, not something that will come back to haunt you in the future. Also, respect your friends and hold the same standards for what you post of them as well.

Respect yourself, think about your future, and post accordingly.
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Several weeks ago I volunteered at a DiscipleNow Weekend leading 7th-9th grade girls in Bible study.  One of the questions that they asked that stumped me a little was this, “How do I keep from repeating the same sin, or giving into the same temptation over and over?”

Now, week’s later I know exactly what I would say.  Though there may be other solutions, one of the best solutions that I have for this issue is “accountability”.  I look back on my teenage years and I remember having just one or two friends who took their faith as seriously as I did.  Those friends held me accountable for my actions.  Today, I have multiple friends who still do the same for me.

When looking for an accountability partner it is important to look for someone who is:

• Close to you in age. This may not necessarily mean chronological age, but could also mean “maturity” level.  We all mature at different speeds and you’ll want to take “Christian” maturity into account as well.  You will need to be on the same level with this person.
• Trustworthy. You will need to be able to discuss personal issues with the person and be able to trust that they will keep them confidential.
• Share the same morals and beliefs. In order to be able to hold each other accountable you will have to have the same morals and beliefs.  If you don’t believe in drinking alcohol but your accountability partner does, you won’t be able to truly be held accountable.

While an accountability partner cannot keep you from sinning they will help you to be able to keep in mind the fact that you are striving to stay away from temptation and avoid sin, especially those that are difficult for you.

It was my eleventh grade year in high school, I had a study hall, where I sat across the table from a guy who I’d been friends with since preschool. We knew each other well. He knew me well enough to know that I didn’t party, but nevertheless this particular week he decided to bug me about coming to a party that weekend. For some reason he just would not let it go, no matter how many times I told him no.

The weekend rolled around and I was hanging out in the school parking lot with my boyfriend and another couple. Everyone that dropped by the lot that night was going to “the party”. They were all asking us if we were coming and I was still hesitating. I knew it was not something I needed to do, but at the same time I’d never been to one before. The temptation was intense. Finally, I gave in and agreed to go under the condition that we’d stop and get me a Coke on the way so I would know what I was drinking.

My boyfriend agreed, we grabbed me a Coke, and headed out to the pasture where the party was being held. Basically it was a muddy pasture, a few headlights turned on for light and a keg of beer. That week I had just been shopping with my mom and had a brand new pair of Mudd jeans, and a new pair of sandals. I hated getting them muddy but got out, grabbed my boyfriend’s arm and tried to tiptoe through the mud. I was on a mission to find the guy from study hall and let him know that I was there.

After surveying the crowd for a few minutes I saw him, looking like he’d had too much to drink already, but nevertheless, I made a beeline to him and spoke. He didn’t have much to say, so I turned back around and let my boyfriend know I was ready to leave. The guy and ninety percent of the others in attendance were already drunk. Just the idea of being there made me nervous. I was ready to go, I knew I had accomplished nothing as the guy in study hall wouldn’t even recall my being their on Monday morning.

But, I remembered it, and twelve years later I still recall that night and think of it as a lesson learned. Because when I got home that night the guilt that hung over my head was thick. And the mud caked on the hem of my brand new Mudd jeans was a screaming reminder of the sin that was all around me in that cow pasture. The sin of my peers choosing to participate in underage drinking, and for some of them that sin would lead to other sins.

I may not have “sinned” by drinking that night, but I did give into temptation and I did fall short of “God’s glory”. I didn’t stand on my convictions, but allowed others to influence me. Do you stand firm on your convictions or allow the world to sway you?

The Bible says in Romans 12:2, “Do not be conformed by the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you can test and approve what God’s will is, his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (NIV)

The world will push you to and fro, it will always want you to choose its way over Gods, but stand firm on your own convictions, and let God do the rest.

Tonight one of the teens from my former youth group graduates from high school. This high school senior will throw his cap in the air and most likely does not have a clue what life has in store for him on the other side of this evening.  He may not realize the importance of the relationships that he has with those other seniors who will stand with him tonight as graduates.

I probably did not either.  I remember my graduation very well.  The day went by quickly and so did the ceremony.  I remember very little of what was said.  I do however remember tossing the cap, hugging my friends, going home for dinner and leaving for summer camp where I was working for the next 8 weeks.  From that day forward to today I have seen my high school friends very little.  It is amazing how quickly time has flown and how little of them I have seen.

Those relationships I had with my classmates I think I took for granted, that or I so naively believed they’d always be there.  However, time has slowly pulled those relationships apart, or at least put distance between us.  Not always negatively, but just as a part of the reality of life.

Most of us have had very fulfilling lives from what I know.  Many of us went off to college, many of us have married, some have had children, others are now expecting.  We have all had to move out of the homes of our parents and into our own places, taking care of our own responsibilities.

What has made this easier is those relationships we have had, both old and new, relationships with each other, our families,  our parents, and the new relationships we’ve formed since high school, with college roommates, colleagues, and others along the way.

All of these relationships are important in their own way because you see God placed them in our path.  He had a hand in each and every one of them.  One might call this divine intervention.  God divinely inspiring those relationships in our lives for just the right time to help fulfill just the right need.  That’s how He works after all.

I think it is important that we treasure those relationships, realizing how important they are to all of us.  Whether they be relationships from our past or those we are presently enjoying they should be treasured because they are a gift from God.

So, whether you’re a high school senior about to throw your cap in the air, or someone who has been in the real world a long time.  Look around you, count those relationships you have or have had and treasure them in your heart.

For this upcoming week in my weekly email to my list subscribers, Mom-Daughter Connection, I spoke of the importance of prayer. I truly believe in the power of prayer and believe that you can pray about anything. The Bible tells us we are to “cast all our cares upon Him, because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 (KJV)

The Lord truly wants us to bring our burdens and cares to him through prayer. We are to pray about everything, pray without ceasing.

Here are some things to pray about:

1. Everyday life situations. You can pray about your finances, your health, your kid’s grades, your teen’s peer pressure, your job. LIFE! God understands and He wants you to come to Him with it all.

2. For others. Pray for others, intercession is a privelege and we should always intercede on the behalf of others whether they have asked us to or not, whether they are sick, in need or you just want to thank God for them.

3. The future. Yes, it’s uncertain to us, but God knows all about it, praying for God’s will in our lives will help us to find the future that is best for us. The right path!

4. Thanksgivings. We don’t want to just ASK God for things, we want to take time to THANK HIM for things as well. Thank God for the many blessings he has given you and your family!

5. Your feelings. God can handle it. Feel angry? PRAY, Hurt? PRAY, Guilty? PRAY. Prayer is always a good answer to how you are feeling.

Still feeling unsure? Purchase our My Heart to His Prayer Journaling Devotional Guide to learn more about prayer and prayer journaling.

When I was a teen, a popular contemporary Christian song was Friends are Friends Forever by Michael W. Smith. It talked about having a lifetime of friendship, a tearjerker of a song that was used at many baccalaureate services and other memorable events.

This song points out that a friend is a friend forever if “the Lord is the Lord of them”. This suggests that we include God in our friendships. In Godly friendships there are not just two people involved, but three. The relationship could be represented by a triangle. You and your friend are connected at the bottom of the triangle to God, at the top, which would be over you and Lord of both of your lives. The Bible says that this is the strongest of friendships in Ecclesiastes 4:12 it says, “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Choosing Godly friends is so important. Friends have a tremendous impact upon how we think, feel, act and behave. The Bible says in Proverbs 12:26, “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

It is difficult to obtain Godly friendships. Many teens today, who grow up in rural communities like the one I did, may have the same peers in their lives from the time they are a small child, until they graduate high school. Therefore, their choice of friendships is limited.

When I was a teen, I had the same friends that I had met in preschool at the age of three at least for the most part. These friends did not always uphold and follow the same morals and beliefs that I held. I soon found out who my “real Godly friendships” were just by the way they would react to my standing up for what was right or setting myself apart from what was wrong.

As a teenager, this was hard to do, but now, almost 10 years since my high school graduation I am glad I did so all during high school. I value the friends who stood by me, whether they agreed with me or not, and even more so I am thankful that God always sends the people you need into your life.

Because, now as an adult, I still maintain some of my old friendships, but I have also created new friendships, and God has given me true friendships where the Lord is the Lord of them. I am now blessed with a group of girlfriends who share my same beliefs, encourage my convictions, and hold me accountable for my actions. They also pray for me, cry with me, and celebrate with me. I am thankful to be experiencing the whole range of lifetime friendships that God has blessed me with.

Godly friendships may seem difficult to find, but worth the wait. Don’t give up on finding your lifelong friends.

This article was written by Alyssa Avant and is Copyrighted 2008.

I just recently started helping with Acteens at my church, a mission organization for teen girls ages 12-18. I enjoy being a part of this ministry as I was an Acteen myself a few years ago. This month the girls topic is prayer. I know that for teens especially younger teens, but for all of them it may be hard to understand “Why” they should pray, “How” they should pray, “When” they should pray and “Where” they should pray.

These are all questions I’m sure many of us have asked ourselves in the past. “Why should I pray?” Well the Bible is very clear that God wants us to communicate with him. He even says that we should, Philippians 4:6 explains, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” We pray because God knows that there are things that we need his guidance, his love and his support on. He does not want us to worry or be anxious and therefore we should pray. I have come to learn that on the days I worry the least are the days I have prayed the most.

“How should I pray?” Prayer is not meant to be complicated. Though we aren’t suppose to go to God only with our “wish lists”, we are suppose to come to Him like a trusted friend. We should feel comfortable enough talking to God that we have a conversation with Him, talking but also listening for Him to answer us. Prayer is to be a private conversation between us and God, it is described in Matthew 6:6, “But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

“When should I pray?” If you’re familiar with Scripture you may have heard the verse, “Pray without ceasing.” Do you literally have to be down on your hands and needs all the time praying to Lord, well of course not. HOwever, God’s desire is for you to be so comfortable talking to him that you can stop and whisper a prayer to Him anytime throughout your day when you feel you need an listening ear. He is always there and is always ready and willing to listen to you.

Finally, “Where should I pray?” An earlier Scripture spoke of praying in secret, yes, we should never pray to draw attention to ourselves or for show, but we can also join together with other believers to pray. We can have prayer partners, prayer meetings, and other times of prayer to assemble together and talk to God, for the Bible says, “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” Matthew 18:20 God will always come to be with you when you pray, whether alone or with others. The important key is that you PRAY!

I hope that this has answered any questions that may arise for you about prayer. Prayer is such a important connection that we have to the Lord. I hope that you will take advantage of it. Listen to Mom-Daughter Connection Radio Show this week to learn about an important prayer from scripture, “The Prayer of Jabez” and a book written on the topic, which can be bought in a teen version as well, The Prayer of Jabez for Teens (Breakthrough Series)

It’s that time of year, hearts are racing as they anticipate that ever fateful day, Graduation. I remember it like it was yesterday. I could NOT wait for that last song to be played and for my hand to release that cap into the air. What a feeling of exhiliration, excitement, and a little nerves all mixed into one. For one, you had accomplished a great feat. But, on the other hand, those carefree days of high school and no responsibilities were over. A new life lies ahead of you, stretched out like the open road, ready for you to take a drive. It will be full of roadblocks, traffic jams, and detours that is for certain. The choices you make and map you choose to follow will determine where you will end up. Hasty decisions will lead to dead ends. This is your life we’re talking about, so you want to choose your destination wisely. How do you guarantee that you’ll end up in the fast lane, successful, and happy? Well, there really is no guarantee of success if you look at it by the world’s standards, however, if you look at life through the eyes of God and see it as opportunities He is giving you, then you will always feel like you’re a winner. The Bible says, “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19:21 You can make your plans, however God’s purpose for your life will prevail if you will follow Him, look to Him, and obey Him.

When I was trying to make those decisions about my future, it was difficult. There were so many choices to make, choices about college, career, marriage, would I get a summer job, or move away from home? These decisions are never easy to make, however, we all have a link to the answers, or at least to some wisdom to help choose the best answer. This link is prayer, our lifeline to God. Choosing to go to Him with your decisions is the first step to making the right choices for your life. Matthew 7:7-8 reads, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” These verses back up my suggestion that seeking God’s help is the best way to go.

One of my best suggestions for anyone who wants to see how God works in your own life, is to begin recording your prayers in a journal. Writing down your requests, concerns, and thoughts is not only helpful to make one feel better, sort of a therapy for the worried, but it also is a rewarding experience to be able to return to those prayers after God has so graciously answered them, days, weeks or years down the road. You can then rejoice in the many blessings that God has given you. You will be astonished at all He truly gives you, and I guarantee it will be more than what you asked for.

A prayer journal devotional guide, with journal, scripture bookmark and pen is available as a gift box here on my website. Check it out! It will make the perfect graduation gift.

What is “true love”?

Have you ever thought that you were in love? I know I did when I was dating; early on in my teen years. But was it really love? I am not going to say for sure, but I do know that the Bible describes love best. It does so in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 which say,

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

These are all characteristics of true love. Love is also about a relationship. The purest form of a love relationship is that of Jesus Christ. We must look for characteristics of Jesus in another person in order to find true love.

So many times today, we allow other characteristics such as physical appearance, popularity, or personality to attract us to someone else. This causes us to be convinced that it is �true love� and then we often share the rarest gift that we have with the wrong person.

Love is not an emotion, but rather both a commitment and a devotion to someone else. If you are truly committed to and devoted to something you can wait for it. Christ was so devoted to us that he gave his own life. We need to be so devoted to our “true love” that we can wait to give them our rarest gift.

Likewise, sex and love are not the same. Sex is a completion of two people becoming one. The Bible explains it is a part of a marriage relationship, another gift given to us by God.

Pre-marital sex only leads to pain and heartache because it does not include the characteristics of the true love relationship, that of commitment and devotion. If you think about it, most people who participate in pre-marital sex do it on a whim or because of a long night of drinking. They are not in any means committed to or devoted to the person with whom they share their rarest gift.

I can remember vividly being a part of a True Love Waits rally. The True Love Waits campaign began in 1993. I was 13 years old. Standing in about the second pew of the church. I was asked to sign a card committing to stay sexually pure until marriage. I signed that card and committed in my heart also to stay sexually pure. So did my best friend, Laura. We even had a conversation afterwards saying that we would hold each other accountable. That next year Laura moved away. I was not in constant contact with her, and therefore it was a little more difficult to hold each other accountable. However, almost 2 years later, late one night, I had just arrived home from a date with my boyfriend; when the phone rang. I fully expected it to be my boyfriend who always called me after he arrived home. However, it wasn’t, it was Laura, speaking through her tears, told me that she had broken her promise and had given away her rarest gift that night. She shared with me how badly she regretted it, how much she felt cheated, how she felt scared, alone, and dirty. It hurt me so bad that she had done it and I longed to reach out over the phone lines and make it better. But, there was nothing I could do.

You see, when you have sex outside of marriage, that person can so easily and freely walk away from you because there is no real commitment made between the two of you. That night, Laura’s boyfriend had to go home, they weren’t married, they were young, stupid, and had made a mistake. They broke up later and there was nothing left for her to hang on to, no way to feel that love or devotion.

I can tell you that my friend was heartbroken and I can tell you that “true love waits” and heartbreaks don’t. If you want to be heartbroken, give away your rarest gift to the wrong person too soon.

Therefore, how can you avoid this heartbreak occurring in your life? Well, the Bible says, “Do not be mislead, bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Corinthians 15:33

When I was in high school I was constantly pressured more so by my friends and peers than by my boyfriend himself to participate in pre-marital sex.

If you surround yourself with those who are sinning and in sin then you too will be pulled into sin. I know that this is sometimes unavoidable. However, be watchful and mindful of those with whom you spend your time. People will automatically think you are like those that you hang around. And, as my dad always used to say, you will be “guilty by association.” Plus, you will be more tempted. Everyone undergoes this temptation. However, how you choose to respond to it is what is important. The Bible says, “No Temptation has seized you except what is common to man, And God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV)

It is important that you are ready, that you know how to avoid this temptation. For instance, what you spend your time thinking about and dwelling upon will eventually become what you will do. Your thoughts do indeed become your actions. Psychologists have proven this true. If you dwell upon lusting after the opposite sex, then you will be led into the temptation and indeed sin. Remembering that “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

True Love is indeed worth waiting for. Not only will you be rewarded with the rarest gift your spouse has in their life, on your wedding night, but you will understand and appreciate the commitment and devotion that you share with each other; from that day forward. And only Christ defines true love better than that.

When I was a teenager I just wanted to fit in. I thought to myself most days, “Why can’t I be more like ________?” (You know her girls, so fill in the blank). To have the shoes she wore, or perfect skin, or just the right haircut would make everything perfect. I would strive to be more and more like her. I soon discovered that it was not really helping no one was taking notice that I was dressed like her, or wore my hair in the same style.

So, I soon gave up, and went on to try to be more like “me”. Then, I began to get more and more involved in my church youth group. I was 13 or 14 and all my friends hung out at church, going to Bible study, youth choir, and to my youth minister’s house after church or we’d make a trip to Taco Bell in the next town. Those were good times.

The best part is that in those Bible studies I learned, that I did not really want to be like that girl at school, I wanted to be different. The Bible tells us that we are “made in the image of God.” This is a true privilege that only humans can claim. When God created the world, humans were the only part of creation that he created in his image. He also made each of us unique. The only person God wants us to try and be more like is his Son, Jesus Christ. When I discovered this truth, I began to pursue it, with all that I was. I began to “dare to be different” from my friends or peers. Surprisingly, this was much more fulfilling than trying to be like the girl at school. I began to stand out. People took much more notice that I was doing things different than when I was conforming to the norm. It might not have always been easy, but it was the way to go. I challenge you to take the road less traveled. Because ” For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.” Matthew 7:13 (NIV). I know that you will benefit from taking the proper path, I sure did!