Peer Pressure

Peer Pressure Peer pressure is something many teens struggle with as they head back to school. It might influence something simple such as what style of shoes that they choose to wear, but it can be more serious as well. Peer pressure has an influence on the lives of teens in many areas, from sexual practices to drinking. Choosing to not give in and rather to abstain from these activities is often difficult for them. When a teen is attempting to make a decision regarding what to do in any given situation they like most humans, you would think would use logical reasoning and weight the pros and cons. You would also think that they would think of how their decision might influence others around them such as their parents and their peers, however this is not true. Teens on the other hand are very egocentric, or self-centered, with their thinking, they do not seem to care about how their decisions will influence others, and as a result only care about themselves, or that is how it seems. Teens also think in a way which psychologists call “magical thinking” this is the “it will never happen to me” type thinking. Therefore, they do not think that anything bad can happen to them, therefore they succumb to peer pressure and as a result may make negative choices, such as choosing to drive too fast, or to drink a beer or two, or to go to far sexually with a person of the opposite sex. They do not think that the negative consequences can follow because in their minds, that “can never happen to them”. So, they do not even consider the consequences such as wrecking, harm to themselves or others, or pregnancy. Parents often find it difficult to deal with teens and their skewed ways of thinking. It is often also difficult for parents to teach their teens the valuable art of saying no. However, at such an important time in a teen’s life their parents influence is so important to combat that influence of their peers. After all, it is still true that parents have the greatest influence on their teens over every other group of people in a teen’s life. Therefore, parents take your role seriously and look for ways to make saying “no” easier on your teen. Alyssa Avant is a Christian writer and speaker, founder of Beauty by Design Ministries. Their Seven Easy Tips: Encouraging Your Daughter to Say No Guide will help you, help your daughter with peer pressure. Check it out here: {Insert Affiliate Link Here}

 Impacting Your Daughter for the Next Generation

  Impacting your Daughter for the Next Generation Do you wish you could connect with your daughter in a meaningful, powerful way? I hope to give you inspiration, tools and ideas that will help you to do just that. Moms, I’m sure you can remember the day you found out you were having a baby girl. Maybe it was through an ultrasound, during your pregnancy, or maybe it was on the day she was born. Either way, try to remember now how you felt, what thoughts crossed your mind. It is very important to remember how you felt that day; this can help you focus upon how special it is that you have a daughter. God gave you a very special gift when he blessed you with a child, but he also knew that child would be a girl and he had a special plan in that as well. Your daughter was born into the specific generation she is in not by accident, but “on purpose”. You have a special place in this, because you are her mother. God has give you an even greater responsibility “to train a child in the way she should go.” Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) I know you want to do this and more. We all want the very best for our children, we all want to not only prepare them for their future, but also inspire them to take their place in their generation, and to find their purpose in life, God wants them to be set apart for “such a time as this” in their lives. Esther 4:14 (NIV) One of the first keys to impacting your daughter is by setting an example for her. She needs a faithful example of a Godly woman to help her to become one herself. No on in her life can ensure that she has that example more than you, her mother can. Your faithful example will help her to leave a legacy of faith. Show her a proper relationship with Christ, by modeling it for her. Do you have a regular daily quiet time and if so does she know it? I know a lady who does have a daily quiet time, alone in her room, each morning. She told me the story of her little boy discovering this one day. She would inform him every day that she was going up to her room for “her time” and would make sure that he was occupied while she would be gone and then she’d head upstairs. She never realized that he wondered what she did during “her time”, until one day, she saw him sneaking up the stairs, and peeking in on her room. That day she realized he was curious and even more that he needed to know what she was doing. Therefore, she began to share with him. Now, years later, the boy is a teenager, and every morning after breakfast she says she’s heading up for ‘her time” and he says, “I’ll be in my room doing “my time”. She has modeled this time alone with God for him and now he makes it part of his life as well. Having a daily quiet time is just one of the ways that you can model for your daughter how to have a relationship with Christ. Making Christ apart of your home and your everyday routine is another way. How many times is Jesus mentioned in your home each day? Does your family share a meal together and bless that meal with a prayer of thanksgiving before you eat? I realize this sounds like something very small, but can make a huge impact on your life. Verbally mentioning the name of God can do so much for your children. Prayer is such a valuable tool in connecting with God and with your daughter as well. Through prayer, you can fuse the relationship you have with your daughter, and have a permanent bond that no one can take away. I heard a speaker at a parent-youth conference a few years ago who gave such an amazing example of the connecting between a parent and a teen. He used the example of the connection between a parent and a teen or child as being a “heart connection”. The idea was that as parents we have a connection with our children that we can visualize as being a pipeline from our heart to theirs. The pipe is connected when we are turned towards each other and in good relationship with each other. However, this connection can easily be broken, when your child goes out into the world their pipeline is susceptible to others and other people can then try and connect with your daughter or child. These people include anyone who has an influence upon her. Who influences your daughter? Think about it, it could possibly be a teacher, coach, youth leader, friend, and boyfriend. The list could go on and on. It is your job as a parent to ensure that your daughters pipeline is only connected to you and to God. This is the strongest influence upon their life. Because we know that “where their treasure is there their heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21 (NIV) you want them to treasure their relationship with you enough for it to be their main heart connection, outside their relationship with God. How do you ensure that this be the case? This all begins at home, when your daughter arrives home from school, if you are there do you immediately greet her and ask her about her day, sit down, listen and connect with her. Listening is very powerful, your daughter when just coming in from the day at school will be full of information to share about her life, her friends, and her activities. If she is not opening up and sharing with you, encourage her to but never force it, just be there and willing to listen. My own mom was always there to listen, offer advice when I needed it, or seal her lips when she knew I didn’t want to hear it. These things helped me to become the person I am today and I hope that I will be able to do the same with my own daughter. I know no matter what I’ll impact her in some way. I pray that both you and I impact our daughters for the good of the next generation. Alyssa Avant is a Christian writer and speaker, founder of Beauty by Design Ministries. Their Seven Easy Tips: Encouraging Your Daughter to Say No Guide will help you, help your daughter impact the next generation. Check it out here: {Insert Affiliate Link Here}

Sexual Body Language

Sexual Body Language I was approached recently about a situation where a teen girl was being overly flirtatious with the teen boys and even the adult males on a recent youth trip. My first thought was, “How much flirting is too much?” I know as a teen growing up that my mom and dad cautioned me about being overly flirtatious. They were of course concerned about what that would make my boyfriend and other males expect from me but also how it made me as a girl look. The old saying, “easy” comes to mind. They did not want me to be known that way, and neither did I. I know that we should not worry what others think of us, but as females, we should think about what we’re doing. We want to be sure about what our actions are to those around us, what language it is speaking, what vibes it is giving off and we should make sure that it is presenting ourselves to others the way that we would want to be portrayed. Therefore, when teaching your teen daughter about this subject it is important to instill in her the principles about this that the Bible teaches. Yes, the Bible does speak on this subject. We are instructed in 1 Corinthians 6:20, “You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” When we loosely throw ourselves on the opposite sex, whether or not our “intentions” are good or bad, we are not honoring God with our bodies. God’s Word says that there should be “even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.” (Ephesians 5:3 NIV) Being overly flirtatious and loose with ourselves as girls can lead to sexual immorality and is in itself a type of it, therefore it is best not to do this at all. This reminds me very much of the debate on alcohol, no God’s Word does not say specifically, “do not drink alcohol.” God’s Word does however warn about becoming drunk. In this same way, God’s Word warns us about our behavior, especially those behaviors that can lead to other things that would cause you to not honor God with your body. God created us and when creating us, he created us as sexual beings; however, he put some limitations in his Word for how we should use that to our advantage in the reigns of a marital relationship. God would only do this if it were what was best for us. God is the author and creator of everything; therefore, he indeed knows what is the very best for us. Explain to your daughter the very special and unique situation this creates in the relationship that God intends for us to use this part of our bodies for when you are giving her this warning. It is important that we as parents talk to our daughters about this very important topic. I mean honestly, do you want someone else to have to call her on this when she is stepping out of line. Or would you rather her know in the first place and not be caught in this situation. Alyssa Avant is a Christian writer and speaker, founder of Beauty by Design Ministries. Their Seven Easy Tips: Encouraging Your Daughter to Say No Guide will help you, help your daughter understand about sexuality and to say no. Check it out here: {Insert Affiliate Link Here}